Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Princess Procrastination

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In November of 2004 my driver's license expired. I realized it several months later when the girl at the supermarket filled me in on this little tid-bit of info as she verified the info on my check. I thought back on it, and remembered getting the notice in the mail. The notice that would have allowed me to walk in, pay the $10.00, take an updated photo, and get my new license. Pretty easy stuff.

But noooooo, I don't like to do things the easy way. I thought about renewing it early 2005, and then again during the Summer of 2004. Having to board an airplane makes you think about such things. Obviously, the supposed "stringent" procedures for getting on a plane aren't really that stringent. I went to six different airports, and my license was checked in two different locations at each of those airports, and not one person mentioned my expired license.

Two days before I left for Vegas (a couple of weeks ago), I decided that I should be safe, and renew my license. I walk up to the desk, and am told that I have to take the written, driving and eye exams in order to renew my license. This is because my license expired over a year ago. I'm all ready to partake in all of this ceremony, but am quickly informed by the DMV clerk that my name and social security number don't match. What the fuck?

(In 2001 I changed my name on my licesne to my married name. I did it without showing a marriage license, without showing an ID of any kind. I made this change on September 6, 2001. They weren't too worried about the threat of terrorism on 9/6. )

I needed to produce two of the following: a social security card with my married name (don't have it), a copy of my marriage license (don't have it), probation card from my parole officer (not a criminal), Medicaid Insurance Card, Welfare ID Card (not even sure what this is), Green Card (I was born in the USA), WIC ID card (nope, can't say that I've got that one)...I was up shit's creek. I decided it was time for drastic measures. I told the guy that I was a jouranlist leaving on an important assignment the following day, and that I was prepared to write a story about my ordeal at his window of the DMV office. A story deetailing how if I were a criminal, on welfare or an alien I could get a new license. A story detailing how a law abiding, working, US born citizen could not get a new license. He asked who I wrote for. (Double shit!) I explained that I freelanced for several national publications. (Where the hell did I pull that one from?) It didn't help, and so I lauched into my George Bush is the cause of all this ridiculousness speech. It got the guy to pull a few strings, but not enough to get the driver's license. He told me to come back with a copy of my marriage license.

I left, went to City Hall, got a copy of my marriage license, and the next day went back to DMV, and was told that I had to have an actual Social Security card with my married name on it. I wouldn't have time. I decided to shoot for the ID card. Finally, I have a legitimate, current ID, but it's not a driver's license.

Now I have to go stand in line at the Social Security Administration. I can't think of anything worse. I'll do it. Not today. Not tomorrow. But one day soon. Or, maybe not.

dena at 9:04 PM



at 11:32 PM Blogger novaks8 said...

I did the same freaking thing!

I put it off because DAMN who wants to take my kids in the freaking DMV?

So then I came through a license check.
What saved Mary from getting arrested or at least ticketed?

The fact that the two HPmen were classmates of mine!
Steve said "uh you go get this changed tomorrow and if you get pulled in the meantime, you never saw us"

Anyway I had to take the whole crap!
Had a small scare when I got the first two wrong on the computer test!
Then had to drive with this old bitchy woman.
BIATCh please, I have been driving for 20 freaking years with ONE ticket for not stopping completely at a stop sign.


Anyway I did it and now I have until 2011.


Good luck.

at 5:51 AM Blogger The Mistress of the Dark said...

I hope I never forget that, because I doubt I could pass all the tests again.


at 8:48 AM Blogger kenju said...

That is why I almost always renew my licence just before it expires. Trust me - it is a lot easier!

at 9:09 AM Anonymous Claude said...

I am the exact same way when it comes to DMV matters.

When I moved to Baltimore I retained my New Jersey license for two years, up until the week it expired, because I'd paid for it. Never mind that Maryland law requires you to get a new license within 30 days.

Some time after that, I went to renew my car's registration (on the last day, natch) and discovered that DMV had the wrong address for me and that I'd never gotten my emissions checked. Well, of course not: I never received the notice. So they gave me a four-month extension to get the emissions done. I still waited until the last week of the extension and, until I drove up to the inspection station, thought I'd actually missed the extension deadline too.

at 11:16 AM Blogger used*to*be*me* said...

Okay, you win queen of procrastination. I put off bills, homework, work, housecleaning, etc. I don't mess with the feds. You are a brave girl!

at 11:57 AM Blogger sage said...

I take it you must not of been the one renting a car in Vegas--funny story Ms.Procrastination... btw, taxes are due on Monday!

at 12:00 PM Blogger soapbox.SUPERSTAR said...

The ID card is Hot lookin!!! When I see it, I automatically think...hmmmm that's the first sign of someone with a DUI!

at 4:34 PM Blogger Alisha said...

It took me 3 tries to pass all that shit the first time, and I was a spry 16...there's no way in hell I could pull that off again.

At least now with an ID card, you could pass for someone who also owns a Probation Card!

at 5:31 PM Blogger Grins said...

What a pain in the tush. I had a similiar experience at the DMV when I wanted to remove the hypenated second half of my last name (long story trust me), and keep only my maiden name when I was divorced. Apparently you don't need a marriage certificate here in NC (at least then) to get a name change on the ID but you need a divorce certificate to get one. It seemed so unfair. Even when I got the alternate forms of ID and had the copy of the rules showing what ID was acceptable they STILL tried to deny me. Grrr, die DMV DIE. (psst if you are a DMV worker reading this I think the DMV is a bright and shiny happy place and all the workers there are marvelous)

at 8:35 PM Blogger OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

This is like one's WORST nightmare with all the Red Tape/Beaurocracy crapolla! OY! I feel for you my dear and I would be exactly like you. I'll do it. But not today...maybe not tomorrow...but soon...(i.e. When I can stomach it!!!lol)Why is everything so damned hard, these days? Doesn't the Red Tape seem worse and more than ever?? I mean, nit just the DMV. But EVERYWHERE? So sorry you have to wade through this Dena.

at 8:47 PM Anonymous deana said...

Hey I was just there....but the social security wait is even worse than the DMV. And maybe ruder.

I can't believe you went that long though....shame on you! Did you actually take the written again?

at 8:35 AM Anonymous Mayberry said...

Hope you're still blogging in 2009 when you get your license.

at 11:08 PM Anonymous Ficklechick said...

I thought I was a procrastinator, damn woman! ;)


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