Monday, February 06, 2006

Richard Simmons scares the hell out of me. A couple of years go by, and you don't see or hear anything about him. You haven't thought of the creep in years, and then one day you turn on the televsion, and there he is again. Always hanging out with a new 400 to 500 pound person that has not walked more than two steps in the past decade. Once again, he's in your face. Doing stretches with fat guy of the year. Hugging fat guy of the year. Inspiring fat guy of the year. And finally the crying...with fat guy of the year.

I'm all for motivation. I am all about emotions and showing them. But Richard Simmons is just creepy. Creepy to the point that I would never leave him alone with my kids. Heck, I wouldn't even let my child see a picture of him out of fear of the possible nightmares it could induce.

Of course Richard is just one of many, many creepy "I can fix your life" people out there. Dr. Phil is so creepy that when I googled dr phil is creepy, I got this from here:

In this month's "Open Letter" column, GQ tells Dr. Phil to sit down and shut up:

Here are actual questions you asked the presidential candidates when they appeared on your show. To Bush: "Were y'all spankers?" To Kerry: "Did you ever spank the girls?" To Bush: "Did you spank them?" To Kerry: "What did she do to get spanked?" Hey, Dr. Phil, try to keep it in your pleated pants.

(Ha. Keep it in your pleated pants. That's good stuff.)

Almost as bad as Dr. Phil is his wife. I'm not certain which is worse though. Dr. Phil promoting his wife and giving her merit as a psychologist, or Robin's belief that she has the credentials to give people advice of any sort.

At least I haven't seen an infomercial with Tony Little and the Gazelle glide machine. For that I can be truly thankful.

dena at 7:48 PM

9comments

9 Comments

at 8:30 PM Chatty said...: the kid on Dr. Phil tomorrow is from my school district. she's a real winner.
at 8:53 PM The Mistress of the Dark said...: I think Dr Phil and Richard Simmons are both off the creepometer.

I wish they both would go away
at 9:22 PM sage said...: ok, so you won't let your children look at Richard Simmons, but you put his smiley self there for us to endure? It's scary to think about, but I use to have naturally curly hair like that in the 70s (that was before God decided to punish me for long hair).
at 12:38 AM Your Mother said...: Richard Simmons, the glider guy, the Burger King guy all remind me of pedophiles. I don't know why. Creepy is a great word to describe them. Now I hope they all get run over by a bus.
at 5:13 AM Anonymous said...: Sadly this are just but a few of the creepy people that feel the need to tell everyone else how to live their lives....ewww!
at 8:46 AM Anonymous said...: The funniest thing I have ever seen is an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway with Richard Simmons.

Classic.

At least he lets people poke fun at him and takes it all in stride.

(pokes....hehe)
at 8:53 AM Anonymous said...: I bet he has had some major surgery. I haven't seen him, just seems the type. I actually like some of the advice I have heard from Dr Phil- esp. "life isn't fair, no one said it would be fair, so get over it." I like how he tells women not to beg for their husbands to stay. We get one life and we are the only ones who can live it....those type things I like from Phil.

But I have never ever understood why it shows his wife so much. I guess to include her. If Martin did that to me with his career I would feel like an idiot. Like the WHOLE world knew he pitied me for not being the Star.
at 3:04 PM Anonymous said...: I just want him to get a new outfit.

I like Doctor Phil because he says things that no one else would dare (usually involving an amimal or a produce metaphor). I think he's generally right-on but I agree that in trying to keep it "all in the family" he features his wife more than I want to see.
at 8:41 PM Kimberly said...: I go back and forth with Dr. Phil but my husband HATES him. He actually gets angry when I tell him I watched an episode. I think he has issues and maybe we should go on the show. What do you think?

About

Joyously roaming through life. Meeting its topographical challenges, and facing each with a sarcastic wit, and an impetuous need to face even more bumps, dips, pits and peaks. How the hell else did I end up with a 22 year old, a 20 year old and a 4 year old?