Sunday, December 04, 2005

Chuck E Cheese and Santa Claus

Is there anyone else who would prefer to have a hot fireplace poker shoved up their vagina, rather than attend a weekend birthday party at the Chuck E Cheese? Seriously? I can't think of anything that spells White Trash better than 700 raging kids with no supervision running from game to game, and ride to ride, while their parents guzzle draft beer from plastic cups. It's bad enough that I was one of a handful of parents actually watching their children in this lawsuit waiting to happen, but add germs as an ingredient and the overall appeal continues to diminish. I found the entire experience offensive. Sure, Ethan thought it was the best thing ever, but I was ready for a straight jacket by the time we left.

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Attending a parade with a bunch of bundled up kids in strollers, while bands play Christmas music, and Santa waves to the crowd is a much more enjoyable way to spend an evening.

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Oh, that and closing down the Chick-Fil-A. Yes, that's how we roll in Virginia Beach. We spend three hours shooting the shit in an empty Chick-Fil-A, while our kids rule the play zone. It's much safer to lick a soft serve ice cream while watching your kids through a glass window, than it is is to constantly yell their names while running under a suspended tube, wondering if the screams of pain are coming from your child as (s)he is being crushed by a roving gang of eight years olds. Not to mention, 10 out of 15 parents agree, Chick-Fil-A is much cleaner than any of the other fast food play areas.

dena at 9:01 AM

17comments

17 Comments

at 10:07 AM carmilevy said...: Oooh, that fireplace poker image is going to stick in my mind for a long time. But you're bang on: these places are frightening. The kids are starting to outgrow their desire to be there, so I think we've finally dodged the dirty play place bullet.

Gaaa....I need some tea.

:)
at 10:19 AM Juggling Mother said...: I've worked in similar places and they are seriously scary - but sometimes you just have to let your child take risks! I'm sure he thought it was the best thing ever:-)

Michele sent me today
at 10:58 AM Mike said...: My son is grown now but I remember a birthday at Chuckie cheese about 16 years ago. It was noisy and the pizza sucked but my son of course had a ball.
at 10:58 AM Mike said...: Woops! forgot to say Michele sent me.
at 11:30 AM Anonymous said...: Do you remember those Magic Eye posters? Where it looks like a bunch of dots, but if you focus long enough a three dimensional picture appears. I have a similar experience every time I go to Chuck E Cheese. At first, while you are running around trying to keep up with your kid (because you know the wonderful job they do of checking those blacklight stamps at the door) the noise is sort of a wash of screams and bells that almost seem like white noise. But at some point I always find myself standing in the middle, and bam, I clearly hear about a hundred kids yelling for their moms and parents yelling for their kids and parents talking while they ignore their kids and I feel like I'm in the middle of an Oliver Stone war movie. That's the moment I where I want to run far, far away.
at 5:43 PM Karen said...: Just say No. I detest Chuck E. Cheese, and haven't been to one in ages. Now Show Biz Pizza... that was a happening place. The shows were much better... we didn't spend half as much time playing games as we did watching the show.

But Chick-Fil-A rocks! I didn't know there were any with play areas, though. I would totally be taking my kids there all the time if there was one near us!!
at 7:30 PM WendyWings said...: We don't have Chuck E Cheese here but I have heard so so many parents complain about the place online LOL
Makes me proud we don't have them lol. Michele sent me :)
at 7:31 PM The Gnat's Trumpet said...: My too are too young for that yet, thankfully. But I'm sure it's in my future.

Michele sent me.
at 7:36 PM YellowRose said...: Hot poker image is forever stamped in my head!!! ROFLOL

I detested Puke E Cheese's when my kids were little...we may have gone a total of 3 times and that was only under much pleading and begging from the kids.

As for Chik-Fil-A, we love that place! Best chicken sandwiches as far as fast food there is around!

Here via Michele's tonight!
at 8:02 PM Anonymous said...: I feel your pain! I was just there a few weeks ago. Thank God that they sell alcohol!
at 9:42 PM Dak-Ind said...: greetings! michele sent me! i wish we had a chick fil a here. looks like you had a great day, honestly. i love doing family things.
at 10:39 PM Anonymous said...: Those original chick-fil-a sandwiches are the bomb! (can people still use that term?)
at 10:43 PM scrappintwinmom said...: Well, I don't have any Chick-Fil-a joints in my 'hood...which is a shame because my kids are NEVER going to the McDonalds ball crawl. And yes, I detest CEC. There's nothing worse than CEC on a rainy winter Saturday when the whole place reeks of little kid funk. Here via Michele today!
at 7:03 AM The Mistress of the Dark said...: I could tell you Chick-fil-a horror stories. Not about play areas but the food, as I worked above one in the mall for a few years. I can't stomach Chick-fil-a anymore.
at 9:09 AM Anonymous said...: eeek they built a Chuckee over in Jacksonville last year this time.
We had Caroline's 4th birthday there.
ugg

I have hilarious pictures of the older kids looking like they could kill me for making them go.

I want to take her up to Build A Bear this year.
The closest one is in Raleigh.
David's mom always comes around her birthday (Dec17) so we will probably take a road trip.
at 1:53 AM OldLady Of The Hills said...: LOL,LOL,LOL! This was the best laugh I've had for days...! I really get the Poker Part....Chucky Cheese souns like the nightmare of the world, to me....I could not take it for a nanosecond! I applaud you! Bravo!!!
at 1:43 PM Ditsy Chick said...: My kids want to go so badly and I just hate the germs part of it. In theory it is a good idea, but they are too big, too unsupervised and too dirty. Chick-fil-a does tend to be very clean, they don't have too many of them out here...which reminds me of Mickey D's..there's a place I would take a poker rather than have to go to...filthy dirty, horrible food, crap toy giving whore that it is.

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Joyously roaming through life. Meeting its topographical challenges, and facing each with a sarcastic wit, and an impetuous need to face even more bumps, dips, pits and peaks. How the hell else did I end up with a 22 year old, a 20 year old and a 4 year old?