Saturday, August 27, 2005

Sweet Revenge

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Some things just beg to be repeated. This is one of those things:

Reprinted from Sept. 2002 -- Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for "strength" and "honor" on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of localtattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for "small penis" embedded in his flesh.

"I had it for months before I knew what it really meant," Smith said.

"Then I went jogging through the Carnegie Mellon campus and a group of Asian kids started laughing and calling me 'Shorty.' That's when I knew something was up."

Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakai's home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

"All these preppy sorority girls and suburban rich boys think they're so cool 'cause they have a tattoo with Japanese characters. But it doesn't mean shit to them!" Sakai said. "The dumbasses don't even realize that I've written 'slut' or 'pervert' on their skin!"

In the last month, seven people unknowingly received explicit tattoos from the disgruntled artist. Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for "beautiful goddess" etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, "Insert General Tso's Chicken Here!"

"I don't even like General Tso's!" Baker sobbed. "I'm a vegetarian!"

Sakai doesn't feel guilty about using hapless college students as canvases for his graffiti.
"I think I'm helping my fellow man by labeling all the stupid people in the world," he explained. "It's not a crime, it's a public service."

dena at 1:28 AM

11comments

11 Comments

at 2:27 AM Blogger utenzi said...

Ship the fellow off to Singapore where they know how to deal with graffiti. LOL

Interesting post, Dena. I be here from Michele's!

 
at 8:01 AM Blogger panthergirl said...

Hilarious!

 
at 10:08 AM Blogger Crayonsetc said...

Oh my goodness, that is just sad. Although, if I were going to get something like that tatooed on my body, I would be researching it before hand so I know what it looks like just so something like that Didn't Happen!!!

Thanks for stopping by Crayons!

 
at 10:08 PM Blogger soapbox.SUPERSTAR said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 
at 7:20 AM Anonymous chatty said...

O..M..G! Yeah, I will say it again...O..M..G! It's not often I am speechless!

 
at 7:39 AM Blogger Martine said...

Just found a great blog that is all about people taking Asian symbols as a tattoo not knowing what they put on! Here is the blog is you want to see:
http://www.hanzismatter.com/

oh here via Michele

 
at 7:45 AM Blogger Easy said...

*lol*

Personally, I've always thought that tattoos were for dumbasses anyway. It's nice to be vindicated.

 
at 7:22 PM Blogger Carmi said...

Hahaha....this is a wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-laughing kind of thing. Thanks for sharing it: it gave me a much-needed smile.

Dropped in from Michele's tonight. You have once again made it a worthwhile trip.

 
at 7:54 PM Anonymous moonbatty said...

Oh how funny. People should do the research first, then go with the characters already in hand. :)

(here via Michele. Albeit unofficially.)

 
at 4:36 PM Blogger Atomic Bombshell said...

I have to agree with Moonbatty... I'd never trust someone to pick the characters. My, my, my... Pretty sad for them. Makes me wish I were a local laser tattoo removal dermatologist.

PS: I've moved from Aurorealis.com to AtomicBombshell.com

 
at 4:52 PM Blogger Spoiled-grrl said...

That cracks me up!!!

 

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