Morpheme Palette

Morpheme Palette Has Moved!

2006-04-16T15:38:00.000-05:00

PLEASE UPDATE YOUR LINKS-
CAUSE MORPHEME PALETTE HAS MOVED!

New Address: http://www.morphemepalette.net

YOU WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE REDIRECTED IN 15 SECONDS!

Happy Easter

2006-04-16T09:15:00.000-05:00

Baby Ethan

2006-04-14T13:10:00.000-05:00

Chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and peeps

2006-04-13T10:50:00.000-05:00

I was baptized in the Greek Orthodox Church. My family celebrates Easter on a different day than most of America. Generally, it’s a couple of weeks later.
Each year I return to work on the Monday after Easter, and people will always how my Easter was. I always answer something to the effect of “the real Easter isn’t for another couple of weeks.”

I try to explain that it has something to do with the Gregorian and Julian calendars, different methods of reckoning time, phases of the moon, and this information is usually more than most people care or want to understand.

I figure it's about time to come clean with the real reason for the differing date. It’s so we can get our Easter supplies after the rush. While the rest of you are paying retail for your Easter supplies, we’re grabbing all the 75% clearance items off the Target aisles the day after Easter. And laughing our asses off on the way to the bank!

Princess Procrastination

2006-04-11T21:04:00.000-05:00

In November of 2004 my driver's license expired. I realized it several months later when the girl at the supermarket filled me in on this little tid-bit of info as she verified the info on my check. I thought back on it, and remembered getting the notice in the mail. The notice that would have allowed me to walk in, pay the $10.00, take an updated photo, and get my new license. Pretty easy stuff.

But noooooo, I don't like to do things the easy way. I thought about renewing it early 2005, and then again during the Summer of 2004. Having to board an airplane makes you think about such things. Obviously, the supposed "stringent" procedures for getting on a plane aren't really that stringent. I went to six different airports, and my license was checked in two different locations at each of those airports, and not one person mentioned my expired license.

Two days before I left for Vegas (a couple of weeks ago), I decided that I should be safe, and renew my license. I walk up to the desk, and am told that I have to take the written, driving and eye exams in order to renew my license. This is because my license expired over a year ago. I'm all ready to partake in all of this ceremony, but am quickly informed by the DMV clerk that my name and social security number don't match. What the fuck?

(In 2001 I changed my name on my licesne to my married name. I did it without showing a marriage license, without showing an ID of any kind. I made this change on September 6, 2001. They weren't too worried about the threat of terrorism on 9/6. )

I needed to produce two of the following: a social security card with my married name (don't have it), a copy of my marriage license (don't have it), probation card from my parole officer (not a criminal), Medicaid Insurance Card, Welfare ID Card (not even sure what this is), Green Card (I was born in the USA), WIC ID card (nope, can't say that I've got that one)...I was up shit's creek. I decided it was time for drastic measures. I told the guy that I was a jouranlist leaving on an important assignment the following day, and that I was prepared to write a story about my ordeal at his window of the DMV office. A story deetailing how if I were a criminal, on welfare or an alien I could get a new license. A story detailing how a law abiding, working, US born citizen could not get a new license. He asked who I wrote for. (Double shit!) I explained that I freelanced for several national publications. (Where the hell did I pull that one from?) It didn't help, and so I lauched into my George Bush is the cause of all this ridiculousness speech. It got the guy to pull a few strings, but not enough to get the driver's license. He told me to come back with a copy of my marriage license.

I left, went to City Hall, got a copy of my marriage license, and the next day went back to DMV, and was told that I had to have an actual Social Security card with my married name on it. I wouldn't have time. I decided to shoot for the ID card. Finally, I have a legitimate, current ID, but it's not a driver's license.

Now I have to go stand in line at the Social Security Administration. I can't think of anything worse. I'll do it. Not today. Not tomorrow. But one day soon. Or, maybe not.

Day of the hats

2006-04-09T08:53:00.000-05:00

When we were in Vegas, a friend of mine brought along some knitted hats that her mother knits. My friend grew up in a commune, so you can imagine the hats. We loved them, particularly because it looks like Ethan's got a big ol' pile of dreadlocks stored in his.

Dena gets her groove back

2006-04-06T09:45:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it’s difficult to get back into the swing of things when you’ve been disconnected for even a small period of time. It’s that way with blogging. One day you’re posting, reading, commenting. A couple of diversions and you are totally out of sync with all of it. You quit posting, you rarely read, and you seldom comment. Dragging yourself back into takes a concerted effort. You’re not sure if it’s something you have the energy or time for, but then you realize that you miss the friendships that were forming, and decide to hit it full force, knowing it’s the only way you’ll get back into the groove.

A couple of weeks ago I got attacked by some viral thing. I was out of commission for a couple of days. I then had to get ready for my upcoming trip to Vegas, and then I was actually in Vegas.

Part of my trip to Vegas included meetings some friends that I had met through the internet (gasp!).

We met about 5 years ago, on an internet community board for women expecting babies in July 2001. Since then we have gone beyond discussing the habits of our kids to sharing things about our lives that some of us don't even share with our closest friends. Now we cannot imagine life without each other. About 2 years ago one of the women underwent a personal crisis and wanted to leave the group due to the public forum of the board. Instead of allowing her to leave we moved to a private board so that we could continue to support her. One member (me) was diagnosed with cervical cancer about 2 years ago. The rest of us put together a care package of cards and letters, which she was truly surprised and touched by. One woman came to the realization that her husband was abusing her daughter, and our hearts went out to her as she struggled with this horrible reality. During happier times we have rejoiced in the abilities of our children, and shared sweet and silly stories about them. Through pictures we have even helped each other choose clothing for special events. A few weeks ago, one woman, 17 weeks pregnant, told us that she had lost her baby. If you can imagine about 30 women across the continent, brought to tears and mourning with her, then you can imagine how special these friendships are. Through all the trials and tribulations of life, we have been there for each other. We are very different women, religious to agnostic, conservative to liberal, stay-at-home mom to working mom, from many socio-economic backgrounds, but these friendships have shown us how important it is to embrace our differences. We have had our disagreements of course, but through them we have managed to learn from one another, and to become even stronger women. Although we are not able to meet for coffee, or lunch, you can bet that we are chatting away, at all hours, and thinking about each other long after we have signed off our computers, sending our love and support from across the miles.

Of course, I have to share a pic of some of us in Vegas. Here we are before dinner at Mon Ami Gabi.

In the news

2006-03-24T19:58:00.000-05:00

For the past several days I have felt like crap. I have ached. My throat has felt as though it was lined with the hair of a Greek man's back. My head has felt heavy, and my hearing was minimal. I am finally starting to feel like me again.

I watch quite a bit of news, and this past week I watched even more. My favorite stories of the week? Here you go:

In Texas you can now be arrested for public drunkeness...inside a bar.

Helen Thomas and George Bush...her question, his expression when he responded.

The family missing in Oregon - who doesn't like some happy news every now and them?

Debra Lafave - enough said

Tanya Kach - the girl that resurfaced after being held by the school custodian for ten years...what the hell?

I feel so much better today, but I'm still watching the news. I've been switching back and forth between MSNBC, Fox, and CNN for the past two hours, and I'm sure it will continue throughout the night. I've got the wife killing the preacher husband story that's got me roped in now.

The Update

2006-03-21T22:23:00.000-05:00

Finally, my blog is up and running. I feel like I've just gotten over some dreaded illness that's been plaguing me for days.

A bug has been hanging out our house. Ethan ran a fever for three days, with no other symptoms. Now I've got it. Fever. Just a fever. I left work early today. That's not an option tomorrow.

We leave for our Vegas trip in a little over a week. I feel lucky. We've got a good little gambling budget in our pockets. I know how to walk away. My husband does not.

April Fools' Day is quickly approaching. My older kids need to get ready.

My son had a great trip to NYC. He had chance meetings with Matthew Broderick and Cynthia Nixon.

Cold Stone's For Coffee Lovers is the best.

Am I working

2006-03-21T22:13:00.000-05:00

Gosh, I can't believe I got to this screen. Now let's see if a new post will show up.

Happy Birthday Virginia Beach

2006-03-15T06:40:00.000-05:00

Virginia Beach, once known as the World's Largest Resort City, turns 100 today.

In the early 1900s, well-to-do tourists in wool and mohair bathing suits frolicked by the ocean at the elegant Princess Anne Hotel, the four-star attraction of its day. The four-story hotel, advertising fine dining, a grand ballroom, bowling and golf, stretched from 14th to 16th streets . It's gone now.

Stately brown-shingled cottages, the summer homes of some of Virginia’s most prominent families, stood to the north and south of the hotel among rolling sand dunes at the edge of a pine forest. Most are gone now.

The Boardwalk, barely six blocks long, was made of boards, not concrete. It's gone, but it's been replaced by 42 blocks of concrete boardwalk and a paved bike trail.

Atlantic Avenue was a dirt road, Virginia Beach Bloulevard and Shore Drive didn't exist. Day-trippers and out-of-town vacationers arrived from Norfolk by electric rail cars on a track that ran along present-day Pacific Avenue.

That’s about all there was to Virginia Beach when, on the evening of March 15, 1906, the first mayor and council of the newly incorporated resort town gathered inside the Princess Anne Hotel for their swearing-in ceremony.

And then it all changed, and it changed quickly.

On Wednesday, those with an interest will gather to celebrate the 100th anniversary of that day at the 31st Street Hilton – one of the Oceanfront’s modern stars.

It's hard to catch more than a glimpse of the early beach these days. Between all the souvenier shops, t-shirt stores, high-rise hotels and copycat vinyl sided homes, you have to look pretty close to see the charm of those early days.

Places like the Virginia Beach Dome and the Peppermint Beach Club, once famous for attracing world-class mu

Eighty-eight years of memories were demolished when the Peppermint was razed to make way for a parking lot.

Long a watering hole for the fun-loving old and young, the Peppermint once offered premier national musical entertainment such as Fats Domino, Roy Orbison and Joey D and the Starlighters. In more recent years some of the best Punk and New Wave bands played this venue. It's been recreated in a hotel this year, but memories made in the new Peppermint will never match those created in the early years of the original Peppermint.

The Dome, like the Peppermint, became renowned for the entertainers that passed through its doors in its early years.

Names like Louie Armstrong, Blood Sweat and Tears, Hendrix, the Stones, the Beach Boys, Ray Charles and Johnny Mathis lit up the Dome marquee in those days.

The Dome too bit the dust to make way for an expansion of an existing parking lot.

From the Virginian-Pilot:

Historians and longtime residents say only two buildings of that era have escaped developers’ bulldozers as the resort strip has grown into a $700 million industry attracting 3 million visitors a year.

The buildings are anachronisms amid the resort’s glass and concrete landscape. One of the survivors, known as the deWitt Cottage, was built in 1895 by B.P. Holland, a businessman who later became the town’s first mayor. The two-story brick building, topped with a distinctive cupola, sits on the Oceanfront between two hotels that tower over it at 12th Street. It now houses the Atlantic Wildfowl Heritage Museum.

The other, a former station for the U.S. Life-Saving Service – the forerunner of the Coast Guard – stands on the Oceanfront 12 blocks north at 24th Street.

Built in 1903, the station has been converted into a museum with artifacts from the two maritime services, including a rusted piece of engine from a steamship that wrecked off the coast in October 1906. The station’s dormer windows, lookout tower, steep-pitched roof and cedar-shake exterior walls are architectural details common to the resort cottages built in that era.

When the town was formed, the station’s surfmen still walked beach patrols. They also ran life-saving drills along the shore – a popular tourist draw.

I hope she's happy with her face-lift. I've lived here since the start of the 60s, and I have seen many of the changes. Some are good, and some have sucked out every ounce of her character. Once a fun-loving city, now just a way for the city to collect more and more taxes. I guess they call it progress.

Happy Birthday Virginia Beach.

Why bother ? ? ?

2006-03-14T08:20:00.000-05:00

My neighbor has ultra-high blood pressure and more than a few pounds to lose. For the past week I have been walking three miles with her in the evenings. Three brisk miles. Last night she asked me to go grab something to eat with her. We did the drive through at McDonalds. They have salads, they have grilled chicken sandwiches, they have teeny-tiny cheeseburgers. She ordered the Big Mac Combo – Super sized with a large Coke. 1440 calories. What the hell?

Tomcats return

2006-03-13T11:37:00.000-05:00

The famous F-14 Tomcats ended their final mission last Friday flying into Oceana Naval Air Station.
I have a good friend working on a construction project on the base, and he must have called and e-mailed me twenty times reminding me to watch the flight in that day. He sent me the photo above, and I decided the story of the F-14s was worth sharing. I was able to catch them flying in on my way to lunch, and it was pretty amazing.

From the Virginian-Pilot:

They ended their final mission with wings swept back, 22 abreast, at 300 mph in about as perfect a formation as anyone had seen the Tomcats make in their 36 years of flying.
Screaming above a crowd of 1,000 people who turned out to cheer and cry, the returning F-14s ended an era Friday.
"If you could look behind the sunglasses of these pilots out here watching this, you'd see a lot of wet eyes," Cmdr. Mark Black said.
"I know that's why I wore sunglasses today."
Black is a former F-14 pilot, with 3,500 flight hours, and now skipper of the "Red Rippers" of Strike Fighter Squadron 11, an F/A-18 Super Hornet Squadron at Oceana Naval Air Station here.
He and scores of other Tomcat aviators and supporters, including 78 foreign photojournalists, were drawn to Friday's flyover, which signaled the return of Carrier Air Wing Eight from a six-month deployment aboard the carrier Theodore Roosevelt. It returns today to Norfolk Naval Station.
The spectators will never again see such a formation of F-14s.
It is likely, as well, that the 44 aviators in the Tomcats never saw the admiring crowd below them, Black said.
"You are working ," he said. "You are not looking outside seeing the crowd."
The 22 planes that returned are all that remain of 712 F-14s built by Northrop Grumman. Eleven each made up Fighter Squadrons 31 and 213.
Those in VF- 213 will be retired next month while squadron members transition to the F/A-18 Super Hornets.
The aircraft in VF-31 will fly through the summer, retiring in mid-
September when that squadron also will convert to Super Hornets.
The crowd included old warriors such as retired Cmdr. Bruce "Dog" Doyle, who flew one of the first F-14s in 1973 out of Miramar, Calif.
His was the ninth plane built.
"The first plane was delivered in the fall of 1972 and John Warner, who was then Navy secretary, flew in the back seat from Point Mugu to Miramar," Doyle said of the current U.S. senator.
"When he got out, I think he was green."
Doyle was one of the few to earn "green ink" in his F-14 log book over Vietnam aboard the carrier Enterprise in 1974. Green ink is used to signify combat.
"That was our first cruise, and we lost three planes in VF-1," he said.
The planes sustained mechanical failures. No one was killed.
The Tomcats took some anti-aircraft fire, but none was hit, he said. It was the waning days of the war, and they patrolled overhead as Saigon was being evacuated.
Retired F-14 pilot Roy "Flash" Gordon, commanding officer of Fighter Squadron 31 from 1991-92, has an extended view of the F-14 through the eyes of his son, Roy "Rip" Gordon, 25, an F-14 aviator who is a member of the same squadron.
"I spent six years in that squadron and have a soft spot in my heart for that plane," the elder Gordon said.
"I flew (F-4) Phantoms , too , and saw those go away," he added. "It's all for the better, but the Tomcat is still very, very valuable with all the upgrades. We could take it into combat tomorrow."
His son, who will transition to the Super Hornet, was able to get 500 flight hours, 100 arrested cable landings and 75 combat hours in the Tomcat.
Griff Williams was an 18-year-old aviation electrician when he first worked on an F-14 at Oceana in 1975. "The plane was brand new and we were the new kids on the block," he said. "Then the 'Top Gun ' movie came and everybody came out of the woodwork wanting to fly it. Boy, were they jealous of us."
Actor Tom Cruise starred in the 1986 movie that featured the aircraft. It was so successful that it noticeably raised Navy recruiting rates.
Williams spent nearly 30 years with the plane, retiring in 2004 as a maintenance master chief.
Now a civilian contractor working on the V-22 tilt rotor plane in California City, Calif., he came back for the fly-in.
"Today is bittersweet, but I feel like I am a part of that still. I am part of that," he said.
While the Tomcats' arrival overshadowed the return of Strike Fighter Squadrons 15 and 87, both F/A-18 units which arrived back at Oceana as well, even those families seemed willing to share the limelight.
Aging airframes, high maintenance costs and 30-year-old technology in the Tomcats caused the Navy to replace it with the family of Hornets, which use digital computers, cost less to maintain and can be used in a variety of roles, including fighters, attack mode, electronic jammers and tankers.

Kid update #2

2006-03-12T14:35:00.000-05:00

Ethan's turn.

School pictures came in, and yes, you did see the same bunny here. I thought we had the same bunny last year, but I guess you can't expect one bunny to last more than a season. Can you imagine what his life must be like?

I didn't buy the pictures from the fall session, and I won't buy them this session. There's no need to when I've got a great scanner and photo printer at work.

I'm not sure what they were telling Ethan when they took this one, but it looks like they gave him a little something to smoke before picture time. He looks high as a kite here:

Kid update #1

2006-03-10T21:32:00.000-05:00

My oldest son leaves for Spring Break on Monday. No, he's not doing the typical trip to Florida or Mexico. He won't be drinking himself into a stupor, vomiting off a balcony, waking up with a silly outfit on, and later seeing a picture of that night here. Instead he will be going with his girlfriend and a few other friends, and staying here in New York City.

I always knew he wasn't the typical kid. Looking back at his childhood I smile realizing just how different he really was. And now I realize just how lucky I am to be his mother. He's the perfect son.

He's a mass communications major now. He's Program Manager of the school radio station, writes a music review column for the newspaper, a reporter for the television station, and has started taking film classes.

You can check out one of his news stories here. Look to the right, and click "To watch the most recent episode of VCU InSight, click here." Once the film starts move ahead 23 minutes into the episode and you'll catch him.

2006-03-08T16:18:00.000-05:00

Now do you get the hint?

Clowning around

2006-03-07T20:07:00.000-05:00

I've never been a fan of clowns. I rarely find their antics amusing, and I've always wondered what would drive an adult to choose clowning as a profession. In fact, they sort of creep me out.

I have always found it difficult to keep my likes and dislikes private. I don't hesistate to try and persuade friends and family members to come to my side. That being said, it's been difficult for me to keep my distaste for clowns away from Ethan. I knew that the day would come when Adam would want to take Ethan to a circus, or that he would be invited to a party and a clown would show up. Knowing this, I zipped it. That's a hard one for me, but I did it.

On Saturday we attended such a party, and I was so happy that Ethan was excited about the clown. More than excited. He was first in line to get his face painted, while many of the other kids stood back and just watched. I had accomplished what I had set out to do, and that was to make sure that Ethan enjoyed something that could be fun, even if I saw it differently. And to be a really good sport, I even got my face painted.

What are little boys made of?

2006-03-06T13:07:00.000-05:00

Snips and snails, and puppy dog tails.

The eyes have it...

2006-03-04T11:32:00.000-05:00

Eyes courtesy of my daughter, Cristin.

March is Eye Donor Month. Your vision may be less than perfect, but you can still help fight against blindness. All you have to do is sign the back of your driver's license or join the online donor registry and, most importantly, tell your family about your decision.

Even though you wear glasses, your corneas can be recovered after death to help restore sight to people in need. Thousands of people receive a sight-restoring corneal transplant every year, including almost 3,000 residents of Illinois and Michigan. But before anyone can benefit from this procedure there must be a donor -- someone who can see beyond the end of his or her own life to make these precious gifts available for those who live on.

The Eye-Bank helps make the Gift of Sight possible by bringing together corneal tissue donors and the people for whom a corneal transplant is literally a second chance for sight. In addition to providing corneal tissue for transplantation, the Eye-Bank offers the Gift of Hope, supporting early stage eye and vision research that works toward a cure for all blinding eye disease. The Eye-Bank also works to educate the public about the ongoing need for eye donors. It's not surprising that the people who have direct experience with donation and transplantation speak about it most eloquently. Christine McGrane, a donor family member, says, "Saying yes to donation was an easy choice because it was exactly what Rickie would have done. It's hard to let go, but it helps to know that Rickie is helping other people and making their lives better, just as he always did."

According to Janet Terra, a corneal transplant recipient, "It's miraculous. I don't need glasses. I wear a single contact lens and I see better than a 10-year-old. The donors and their families do such wonderful things for people like me. Unlike other organ donation, my donors may not have literally saved my life, but they certainly restored my ability to live."

Please take time to consider how you feel about eye, organ and tissue donation. Most importantly, share your decision with family and discuss their wishes as well.

2006-03-03T07:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday it was almost 80 degrees, and all I could think about was warm weather and sunny days.

This morning I woke up, saw Gary Glitter on The Today Show, and heard he was convicted of sex crimes against children.

Advice for Gary: I think it was Thailand that you were trying to get to, not Viet Nam.

Sometimes you just need that visual

2006-03-02T21:24:00.000-05:00

These are the wonderful creatures I spend my weekdays with. Charming, aren't they?

2006-03-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

Ten things I want but do not need…

1. A canoe. I’ve been talking about getting one since I moved into my house in 1996.
2. A 1963 Ford Falcon convertible. Or any old car. My husband calls them money pits. I call them style.
3. A really cool bird feeder for the front of the house.
4. A scooter. Not sure why, but I think it would be fun to scoot around the neighborhood on a baby blue one.
5. Mini pendant lights over the bar.
6. A new light at the top of the steps.
7. New vanities in all the bathrooms.
8. New pots and pans. I really don’t need these, particularly since I rarely cook.
9. New patio furniture. I want the taller table and the taller chairs – bar height.
10. A koi pond.

2006-02-28T08:33:00.000-05:00

Yes, I admit it. I have been so caught up with work, little kid stuff, big kid stuff, and life in general, that I have totally been slack with visiting my favorite blogs.

Expect a visit from me today or tonight. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Thirty? Did you say thirty?

2006-02-27T09:48:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Wishes to one of my best friends..... thanks for always making me laugh. You're a great friend, a terrific Mom, and one of my most "favorite-ist" people in the whole world. You deserve a ton of happiness. This is going to be your decade!

Please stop by Misty's, and wish her a happy 30th b'day!

Finally...

2006-02-24T15:35:00.000-05:00

Something in the news that made me smile.

A conversation with Ethan

2006-02-22T06:50:00.000-05:00

My son, Ethan, is an enormous Star Wars aficionado, with a very inter-active imagination. There was a time in his life when he insisted he was Anikan Skywalker. My husband and I were always deemed other characters, as necessary, to fill the plot of his imagination.

Ethan has a collection of Star Wars figures that would shame most adult collectors. He has both the current line, and the original figures. As a child, my husband had a similar interest, and had every figure and spaceship made. Luckily his father kept all the toys and sent them to Ethan several months ago. Ethan spends hours setting up elaborate scenes from the movies, and creating dialogue between the characters.

I kid you not when I tell you that his expertise regarding characters/episodes/timelines rivals that of any adult Star Wars fanatic. He is obsessed, to say the least.

He is constantly telling us that he is from the future. I seriously hope that this is his active imagination, and not a sign of the condition of his future sanity.

The other night we were reminding him of the importance of going to pee before you hit the bed:

Adam: Good night, buddy.
Ethan: Good night, Daddy.
Adam: Be sure and go to the bathroom before you go to bed.
Ethan: I am from the future.
Adam: OK, but go pee.
Ethan: I am from the future. In the future we do not have to pee.

I guess through all his watching and obsessing, he did realize one thing...there is no way in hell you could get all that gear off to go pee.

Spice it up

2006-02-19T08:30:00.000-05:00

I've read that Old Spice is making a huge comeback with college-aged men and men in their 20s. Old Spice, the scent of almost all Daddies during the late 60s and early 70s.

I haven't thought of, or smelled. Old Spice in years. Once I read about the comeback, a vivid memory of my Dad, looking movie star handsome in his suit and white starched shirt, leaning over my bed to kiss me good bye, his neck smelling of just-splashed Old Spice, quickly entered my mind. He was my hero.

Each Christmas my gift to my Dad was some sort of Old Spice product. A bottle of cologne, a shaving mug and brush (the lost art of latering up with a brush is another story), a bar of soap. Each Christmas I felt the same anticipation, and each Christmas he smiled the same pleased-as-punch smile.

One Christmas I made the huge mistake of veering off-track, and purchasing Hi-Karate. My Dad wore it a couple of times, but went right back to using his Old Spice. I knew I had made a poor decision, and for Father's Day, along with the traditional gift of a Banlon shirt and Bermuda shorts, I also added a bottle of Old Spice.

Father's Day isn't too far off. I already know what one of my Dad's gifts will be. A bottle of Old Spice. I can't wait to give him a hug, the first time he wears it, and remember that smell all over again.

Is it too much to ask?

2006-02-16T19:53:00.000-05:00

Tonight I had to do a quick Target run for Ike and Cujo. They needed a new bag of Beneful Healthy Weight.

I walk up to the Ten Items or Less lane, and start to pick the bag up to make it easier for the clerk to scan. With frantic gestures, she motions for me to leave the bag in the cart. My total shows up on the register screen, and rather than say $20.32, she turns it toward me, and sharply points her finger at the screen. I give her the money, and she hands me my change. Not a word was exchanged. Nothing. No hello, no how are you and no thank you for shopping at Target.

My first instinct was to snatch her up by her scraggly ass head and say, "Bitch, I ought to go complain about you" and then I thought to myself, "Hey, Target's hiring the vocally impaired. That's really cool. I love to see equal oppotrunity employment in action." I was starting to feel a little better about my rude treatment.

All that changed rather quickly as I put my cart up, glanced backward and noticed that MY clerk was having quite the animated coversation with one of her co-workers. Had I not been in such a hurry to get home tonight I would have run over there and GONE OFF.

Really, is it too much to ask the Target clerk to be just a little pleasant?

Dance Day Jitters ? ? ?

2006-02-15T08:22:00.001-05:00

Ethan and Kaiden (Misty's daughter)celebrated Valentine's Day with a Valentine Dance at school yesterday. Sucky parents that we are, neither Misty or I could leave work at 9:45 a.m to make it to the 10:00 a.m. dance. Luckily, I was able to get a few pictures before the big dance. Do these two look even remotely nervous over their first school dance?

Citrus Reamer anyone?

2006-02-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

While grocery shopping the other night, I came across a kitchen gadget that I'd never seen before. At first glance, I immediately thought it looked like some sort of sex toy. Picking it up, and reading the package, confirmed my initial impression.

Fried rice or steamed rice?

2006-02-13T14:55:00.000-05:00

Last night I had some errands to run. I really didn’t feel like cooking last night, which is pretty much how I feel most nights. Plus, I had already done my cooking for the day. Misty was over earlier in the day, and we made 48 cupcakes for the Wave Valentine Day Dance Party.

I was driving around town trying to decide what to bring home, and decided to stop by a Chinese Take-Out that I’d never been to. The place was in Great Neck Shopping Center; about 2 miles form my house. It’s in a nice part of town, and I figured trying it wouldn’t be too daring. The name of the place gave me the needed encouragement, and so I pulled up to No. 1 Chinese.

I walked in and placed my order:

1 large order No. 703 – General Chicken
1 large order No 245 – Szechuan Chicken
1 large order No. 325 – Vegetable Lo Mein
1 small order No. 407 – Pepper Steak

The place was hopping. I knew I had made the right decision. As far as the food was concerned…

The place was small. There were three booths, two small tables and a bench. I sat on the bench, and decided to get in my people watching dose for the day.

A woman sat alone at one booth, munching on fried rice and sipping a Diet Coke. A middle-aged, greasy-looking guy sat at another booth with his daughter, who might have been twelve-years-old. She was wearing way too much black eye liner and blue eye shadow, which did nothing to serve the purpose she intended it to do; to make her look older.

As I was people watching, I began to notice the other things in the dining/ordering area. In one corner there was a portable crib with big puffy quilts. There was also a stroller, a big wheel and some other toys. Two Chinese children, between the ages of three and six played on the floor. On the dirty floor. I watched as the youngest child, a boy, got up and started messing with the magazines that the man and his daughter were reading. They would turn a page, and he would turn it back. I could see the annoyance in the man’s face. Less than a minute later the boy began to shriek for no apparent reason. Then he got up, and moved to the booth the woman was sitting in. He sat across from her, and with a piece of paper rolled up like a horn, blew air at her about two inches from her face, while making a loud honking noise. The woman just sat there stunned.

As if that weren’t enough for the woman to deal with, the girl then decided to join in. She grabbed a small 3-inch toy, a plastic figurine of some sort, and hurled it at the boy’s head, which was already covered in bruises, just missing the woman’s face. The boy reached across the table, and lodged it back at the girl. Since this toy wasn’t big enough, she picked up another, larger toy and threw it. This went on for a few minutes, until they tired of the game. No one said a thing. The children were loud, and the woman behind the counter obviously heard them, but no one said a thing. I sat there holding the laughter in because it was funny, they weren’t my kids, and the adults that were eating at the booths just sat there as these kids played practically on top of them. It was funny.

A few minutes later, my food was ready. The kids continued to ride big wheels, throw toys and yell as I walked out the door, and other people walked in. As I drove home I couldn’t help but have mixed feelings. Should I call social services and report these people for keeping two young children confined in a small area from morning until night? Or should I pat them on the back for caring so much for their children that they were willing to find some a business where they could bring their young children to work with them? Or should I just forget about them until the next time I pop into No. 1 Chinese? Which I will, because the food was damn good.

Dear Asshole:

2006-02-11T16:22:00.000-05:00

Today you broke my daughter's heart. Today I went from liking you to reverting back to my younger years, and turning into vindictive ex-girlfriend.

You are being warned. Do not call my house. Do not come over. Do not think that I will take your side. I don't care how much of a bitch she can be. (And we all know she can be) She is my daughter, and right now, the only thing that matters is that you made her cry.

Ask the last boyfriend. I can throw out comments that reduce grown men to tears. I dig deep enough to make it hurt the most. I know your weakest spots.

Stay far away. Leave her alone. Do not play games with my daughter's heart. And just so you know...she does have a little bit of her mother in her.

Love always,

The Mother LIon

My daughter will never learn...

2006-02-09T16:34:00.000-05:00

My daughter pissed me off today. This picture is now posted on her MySpace page with a lovely little "Thank God You got the job" comment under it. She'll never learn that I'm so much better than her.

Send....oooops!

2006-02-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

Have you ever sent an e-mail to the wrong person?

We have a father-daughter team working in our office. The father worked here first, and a couple of years later he asked if we had available employment for his daughter. She lived in another country, and does not have US citizenship. The owner of the company did all the paperwork, and soon the daughter, her husband and their four kids were in the country, and she was working in our office. She and her father are both engineers. For the first year she worked here she shared an office with him. A few months ago, she moved into another office, directly across from the father. They are bright, talented, and hard working. And they both have an enormous difficulty with the English language – both speaking and writing.

At least once a week a company-wide e-mail goes out from one of the two of them detailing the reason why the other will not be at work. Just a sentence or two – a few quick words. It makes for some funny shit. Particularly on a Monday morning.

For however it matters, this is not way we do things around here. They are the only two people in the office who send out the company-wide notifications. The rest of us put it on the Company Outlook calendar, and shoot an e-mail to HR. But not these two.

Imagine getting one of these in the body of an e-mail. No subject, just this:

Fermo - can't come to the office today, because he is sick.

Ana will be out of office for today. She got unexpected important matter to attend. I sent message early this morning but it didn’t get thru. I goes to Outlook and I called Tim about it.

I almost forgot Ana is sick and didn’t come to work. Sorry.

Fermo may come in-late or may not come to work. My mom is sick she can’t get off from bed.

Fermo- out; still sick

Fermo didn’t come to work because he still has blurred vision due to his eye surgery yesterday.

Fermo will be late this morning, he went to Bayside Hospital for his blood chem..

I will be going home; I feel sick and have a severe headache.

Fermo still weak to work, needs more rest. He will be here on Monday.

Fermo can't work, he is still sick.

Fermo can't work. He has severe cough and fever.

Now let me give you some background. When Father started working for the company, he never spoke to me. But…he would raise one eyebrow, wink and smile. A dirty little smile. The kind of smile that says “I want to make sweet Filipino love to you right here on my drawing table.” It was creepy. The kind of creepy that makes you laugh, but creepy just the same.

Now imagine this…The father and daughter are not really father and daughter. Father’s wife is ill. Father needs some sweet Filipino lovin’ from a sweet, younger Filipino. Father brings over an entire family of Filipinos. Moves them into his house, and bangs the younger Filipino like he’s doing nightly auditions for a low-paying Asian porn flick.

Now I don’t know if all of this is true, but it is fun to imagine. And it does make the e-mails even more exciting. A few of us e-mail comments back and forth about the “out of work” e-mails. (Some of you work, and you know that you have to find ways to entertain yourself at work.)

There was one time in particular where the illness was being passed around the house. One of them was sick with a cold, and the next day the other was sick. I couldn’t help but forward the second e-mail to a friend, along with the following:

“I guess all that bed sharing must be spreading germs. They pass that shit back and forth like a couple of guys on a basketball court. Those two must not get any sleep.”

As soon as I hit send, I knew what I had done. I sent it to the Father. It wasn’t ten freakin’ minutes later, and Dad was in my office asking, “What you mean, Dena?”

Luckily, I’m pretty quick. I fuck up a lot. I have to be quick.

Me: What?
Dad: You send me e-mail.
Me: Oh, yeah. I did.
Dad: What that mean?
Me: Didn’t you go to the ODU basketball game last night? With the boss?
Dad: No???
Me: Oh, I thought you did. I heard there was a virus going around the ODU stadium. I thought maybe you caught it.

Yep, I was almost busted.

2006-02-06T19:48:00.000-05:00

Richard Simmons scares the hell out of me. A couple of years go by, and you don't see or hear anything about him. You haven't thought of the creep in years, and then one day you turn on the televsion, and there he is again. Always hanging out with a new 400 to 500 pound person that has not walked more than two steps in the past decade. Once again, he's in your face. Doing stretches with fat guy of the year. Hugging fat guy of the year. Inspiring fat guy of the year. And finally the crying...with fat guy of the year.

I'm all for motivation. I am all about emotions and showing them. But Richard Simmons is just creepy. Creepy to the point that I would never leave him alone with my kids. Heck, I wouldn't even let my child see a picture of him out of fear of the possible nightmares it could induce.

Of course Richard is just one of many, many creepy "I can fix your life" people out there. Dr. Phil is so creepy that when I googled dr phil is creepy, I got this from here:

In this month's "Open Letter" column, GQ tells Dr. Phil to sit down and shut up:

Here are actual questions you asked the presidential candidates when they appeared on your show. To Bush: "Were y'all spankers?" To Kerry: "Did you ever spank the girls?" To Bush: "Did you spank them?" To Kerry: "What did she do to get spanked?" Hey, Dr. Phil, try to keep it in your pleated pants.

(Ha. Keep it in your pleated pants. That's good stuff.)

Almost as bad as Dr. Phil is his wife. I'm not certain which is worse though. Dr. Phil promoting his wife and giving her merit as a psychologist, or Robin's belief that she has the credentials to give people advice of any sort.

At least I haven't seen an infomercial with Tony Little and the Gazelle glide machine. For that I can be truly thankful.

One more time...will blogger chew this one up

2006-02-06T08:58:00.000-05:00

I posted this on Saturday...it disappeared on Saturday, just a couple hours later. I posted another post on Saturday, and it disappeared. Let's see what happens here....

How does one become the Liberty Tax Service Statue of Liberty or Uncle Sam?

Virginia Beach is a big city. We have over 450,000 people living here. We don't have an actual downtown, but we've got 80 bajillion neighborhoods, and a huge middle class population that waits for income tax season, with the hopes of getting a refund. There is a Liberty Tax Service, an H&R Block, or some other small tax service shop set up at every major intersection. There are a lot of major intersections in Virginia Beach and it's neighbor cities of Norfolk, Chesapeake, and Portsmouth.

If you're at a loss for a family entertainment activity, driving around the cities and rating the Liberty Dancers can fill a Saturday afternoon. Liberty Dancers are a diverse group. Men, Women, White, Hispanic, Black, Asian, Young, Old. Liberty is a true equal opportunity employer.

We have a Liberty about a mile from our home, and they have two Statues of Liberty out front. Not the best dancers, but great wavers and smilers. Upon further investigation I realized that the two women are part of a homeless threesome in our area. I'm not sure why the male part of the threesome didn't apply for the Uncle Sam part. He's tall and thin, and certainly fit the bill. Perhaps this Liberty doesn't have an Uncle Sam costume?

This threesome is a very odd little group. I am sure many of you remember the Elizabeth Smart story from a few years back. Younger girl with two creepy adults. Well, that's this group. They walk up and down Virginia Beach Boulevard, and one of them is usually carrying a small appliance - a toaster oven, a microwave, a coffee pot. One time I saw them with a set of kitchen cutlery. Another time I saw them at the local mall carrying a bag of fetilizer. (There is not a store in the mall that carries fertilizer) I run into this threesome a lot, and the two women are always walking about five to ten steps behind the man, and always look at you and smile. He never does.

My guess is that he's sitting at the Hardee's across the street, sipping a cup of coffee in the warmth, while the two of them freeze, wave and smile in their Statue of Liberty attire.

But I still want to know. How do you get this job?

2006-02-06T08:55:00.000-05:00

Friday's Feast

2006-02-03T06:59:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10=highest), how sociable are you?
I'd say a 9.

Soup
Name 3 DVDs or CDs you currently own.
I walked over to our rack, and pulled out the first three:
Biohazard's New World Disorder
Suicidal Tendencies' FreeDumb
Descendents' Liveage

Salad
If you were to win a superlative award now (such as most talented, class clown, most likely to succeed), what would it be?
Hands down, it was and still is, Most Talkative

Main Course
What is your favorite radio station?
Since my son is the station manager, I'll have to pick WVCW at VCU.

Dessert
Complete this sentence: I believe __________ because __________.
I beieve in prophetic dreams because too many of mine have come true.

Wednesday Whispers

2006-02-01T16:36:00.000-05:00

I ate a very healthy salad for lunch, and an hour later ate a cupcake.

My husband called me today asking me to do something for him. I pretended that my cell phone dropped the call. When he called back, I let it go to voice mail.

We have a raging alcoholic working in our office. When I'm bored, and she's smashed (as she was today), I ask her very detailed, very difficult questions about nothing in particular.

Do you have any secrets to share today?

A conversation with Ethan

2006-01-30T19:16:00.000-05:00

My husband is a fan of the reality television show Miami Ink. I've never seen the show, but I believe it is basically a "life in a tattoo studio" show. Whatever my husband like, Ethan loves. If Adam thinks the show is good, then Ethan thinks it is Emmy Award quality. Whatever. Right?

Last night they were watching an episode, and the scened centered on a woman that was getting a tattoo. The following conversation traspired:

Ethan: Daddy, you want to get a new wife like that?

Adam: You can't just trade-in a wife. Once you're married to someone you have to stick wtih them.

Ethan: Do you think Momma would be mad at you if you got a new wife that looked like that?

Adam: She would be REAL mad.

Now, I don't know where this conversation came from, but here's my guess. My husband has several tattoos. I have none. I don't want any. Whenever we ride by a tattoo studio Adam always asks, "You want a tattoo? I'll pay for it. C'mon. Right now. Let's go."

I guess Ethan really listens to eveyrthing we say.

Memories of a childhood

2006-01-29T16:31:00.000-05:00

My mother's parents were Greek immigrants. My Grandfater came to this country alone, when he was twelve years old. His first job was as a shoe shine boy. Evetually, he met a family who took him in, and taught him the restaurant business, and in a few years he bought his first restaurant in New York. He met my Grandmother a few years later. She came to the United State through Canada, as an old woman. She was not quite twenty. They married, had five chldren, a beautiful home, and the depression struck. It hit them hard. In order to ensure that their children were taken care of while my Grandfather struggled to rebuild a love, they sent the older three children to live with relatives in the south. In less than two years they were all together again. My Grandfather purchased a new restaurant in Newport News, and this is where he lived until his death in March 1959. I never met my Grandfather. I was born that November. His death broke my Grandmother's heart, and from what my family tells me, she didn't smile again until she held me for the first time, a couple of days after I was born.

My Grandfather owned a restaurant in downtown Neport News, on Main Street, just a block and a half from his home. When he became ill with cancer in 1958, my aunt and uncle took over the restaurant. It was on Main Street, through the window of this restaurant, and in my Grandmother's home where I learned the most about life. I was born in the City of Newport News. Newport News is just 30 minutes from Virginia Beach, the city we moved to when I was four years old. Though we moved from Newport News, I continued to spend a good deal of my time there because my Grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins all remained in the city. Newport News is the place that made me who I am. It is the place that formed many of the beliefs I hold today. It was the place where I saw a world change.

I vaguely recall how a nation mourned the loss of a President. My Mom and Grandmother hushed us as they watched the funeral. It seemed as though it lasted forever. A few years later we watched as his daughter christened a ship named after him.

I can remember sitting in the window of the restaurant of my Aunt and Uncle and watching a parade of ghost-like men walking down the street. I remember them locking the door, and telling us not to go outside. I remember my aunt telling us that these men didn't like Greeks, and they especially didn't like their cook, Connie. I can still see the look of terror in Connie's eyes, when I went back to the kitchen to ask him to fix me a bowl of his chicken and dummplings. I was around six or seven years old, and had no understanding of the hate the ghost-like men had for Connie. Later that night my Mom explained it to me. She explained that those men would be very angry to see Connie sitting with us in a booth, and that's why he had stayed in the back that day, and also why the door stayed locked during their parade.

Downtown Neport News was home to three of those large, elegant movie theaters of the past. Theaters with balconies, fancy carpet, incredible drapes over the screen. There were often days where we were the only people in the the theater, and as kids, we loved it. The theater employees all knew us, and we were allowed to see any movie we liked. I learned about the war, the new generation of youth, social consciousness, the new sexual revolution and more through films like The Easy Rider, Bonnie and Clyde, The Graduate, Midnight Cowboy, Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice (yes, I saw it as a child), Rosemary's Baby, To Sir With Love, and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner.

Eventually, my Grandmother became too old to live in that four level house alone. The Newport News Shipyard grew, and as it grew the company began to buy up all the homes that graced the James River. The large Department Stores wtih their teahouses and fancy clothes started to lose business, and evetually closed. One of the theaters closed, and another started showing strictly porn movies. I can remember seeing DEEP THROAT written across one of the billboards. The downtown area became a place for the shipyard workers to eat lunch or enjoy a quick bite and a beer after work. There was no more roaming the streets, shopping in stores, or going to the movies. My childhood, along with my childhood haunts, was beginning to disappear.

Crotch Scratching

2006-01-26T21:40:00.000-05:00

How do you react to a guy that stands in your office door talking about parking garage construction, while his hand is in his pants playing jiggly with his wiggly? All I could do was stare at him. What is wrong with people?

Happy 4 1/2 B'day Ethan!

2006-01-25T21:23:00.000-05:00

Ethan turned 4 1/2 today. In his words, "I've been waiting for a long, long time to turn 4 1/2." We celebrated with friends and family tonight. Cake and ice cream, and a visit from a Birthday Elf.

A Birthday Elf is quite different from one of Santa's Elves. Birthday Elves have wings, and when you're not at home they fly to your house and leave off a half-birthday gift. They don't bring presents on your birthdate birthday; only on half-birthdays.

It was a fun night, and we're looking forward to attending Kaiden's half-birthday in April.

And before you say it, I will. Ethan is just a tiny bit spoiled. As with any birthday, half or otherwise, photos are a must.

HAPPY HALF-BIRTHDAY ETHAN...WE LOVE YOU.

Let's hear it for the boy

2006-01-25T07:08:00.000-05:00

Hearing about Chris Penn's death this morning made me more than just a little sad. Cheesy as it was, who doesn't remember Chris as Willard Hewitt in Footloose? One of the most memorable scenes in the film has to he the Chris Penn/Kevin Bacon dance sequence. And, really, doesn't a smile always accompany that memory?

RIP Chris.

S-E-X Tag

2006-01-25T00:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Melissa in London, who tagged me for this one!

The rules: The tagged victim lists 8 different points of their perfect lover/partner, mentioning the sex of said partner. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on a post letting them know they've been tagged. If tagged before, no need to contribute.

My perfect partner would be male, because, that's what I married

My Perfect Partner:
1. Is a wonderful father - being a good parent is way sexy
2. Makes me laugh at myself
3. Knows when to be serious
4. Trusts me and encourages me to do my own thing
5. Is happy to be home
6. Is honest to a fault
7. Will take the long way there because I like the scenic route
8. Is always willing to do family things

Rather than follow instructions, and tag eight of you, I'm just asking you to list a few traits that make your list.

I'm a loser because...

2006-01-23T18:26:00.000-05:00

I'm wearing a pair of reading glasses that have so many scratches in them that in order to see what I'm reading I have to focus my eyes between the lines, the scuffs and the chips. It is beyond the normal realm of difficult because the scratches on each of the lenses are at different levels. However, I've bcome quite proficient at squinting my eyes and tilting my head to make the most of this pair of glasses.
Here they are:

I kid you not. I cannot read a word without them, but I go to extreme levels of excess to read with them. I told you I was a loser.
I used to have an extra pair, but they were lost to a habit of mine. During conversation, I tend to take hold of my glasses by the ear piece and spin them around. During one of my most active spin sessions, the extra pair of glasses snapped at the bridge. For an entire day I wore the gasses anyway. I just kept my head slightly upward so they would rest on my cheekbones. Yes, I did that.
Now, before you all start taking up a collection to buy me a suitable pair of specs, please understand the real reason as to why I keep wearing these glasses. This is what makes me a loser. It's the fact that I am too freakin' slack to a) call the doctor and make an eye appointment; b) go to the eye appointment; c) use my time off from work for something that I need in order to do my job; and d) fill out the long claim form required by my vision insurance. Yes, I even have vision insurance.

Could I be a bigger loser?

A shameless little plug

2006-01-22T18:13:00.000-05:00

Hey, it's my son, so why not? If you feel like listening to my oldest son's college radio show, you can listen to The Straight BS with Brian and Steve by clicking this link, and when you go\et to the site hit "Listen Now"....Enjoy. The show is on Sundays from 6:00 until 8:00 p.m. est.

A day at the VCM

2006-01-22T08:30:00.000-05:00

A rainy afternoon, and a few hours at the Virginia Children's Museum

Connections

2006-01-20T20:19:00.000-05:00

I read a study about people who commit non-violent crimes and pot use. Many people arrested during the commission of non-violent crimes openly admitted to smoking pot just before getting caught. Are pot smokers more likely to become criminals or are criminals who smoke pot more likely to get caught...what's the real connection?

Last night I went to a college basketball game. Each of the teams had a player over 7' tall from the Ukraine. Both of the players were born in 1987. Remember the Chernobyl nucelar disaster of 1986. Big kids, nuclear leaks...is there a connection?

Global warming, and an increase in the number intensity of hurricanes...is there a connection?

I can't think of a thing to write about. I hate the short nights during the winter. I don't like the cold weather. Is there a connection?

2006-01-18T22:36:00.000-05:00

Something you love the smell of...

Candles by Nadine. My current favorite is Twigs and Berries.

Your favorite snack...

Lately it's been this low-fat popcorn. Normally, it would be buttered popcorn - heavily buttered popcorn!

Your favorite thing to sleep in...

My favorite PJs. I can take the dogs outside, and if I run into a neighbor, I'm OK. And they're super soft, warm and comfortable.

If you are interested in participating in the Things Thursday weekly snaphot of your life, you can get the weekly things from Misty.

Wednesday Whispers

2006-01-18T09:36:00.000-05:00

I woke up in the middle of the night, and ate a Hershey’s Kiss. I needed that bit of chocolate.

I don’t trust women with giggly, girly, practiced laughs. I like loud, raucous laughter. Giggles make me think you don’t get it, or that you’re afraid to laugh. Or that you’re only laughing because you want people to look at you.

The new receptionist at work is plucking my nerves. She doesn’t get that I’m a last minute person, and almost seems to take joy in saying, “Ooooh, I placed an order yesterday. I wish you would have said something then.” Just order my stuff bitch. I don’t care if you have to make another phone call today. If you want everyone to give you their orders on time, then send out a freaking e-mail the day before you place the order. It’s not rocket science.

I like burned microwave popcorn. People in my office always bitch and moan about the smell of burnt popcorn. I never fess up.

A conversation with Ethan

2006-01-17T09:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I had this conversation with Ethan:

Ethan: Today was Martin Luther King’s Birthday.
Me: Did you talk about that at school today?
Ethan. Is he a kid?
Me: Well, no.
Ethan: He didn’t have a birthday cake.
Me: What?
Ethan: He’s dead. Dead people don’t eat cake.

A few minutes later.

Ethan: Did you and Daddy used to be kids?
Me: Yes.
Ethan: Did you eat birthday cake with Martin Luther King when you were kids?
Me: No, I didn’t know him.
Ethan: Maybe you were dead then.

Monday's Morality Buster

2006-01-16T14:17:00.000-05:00

Dennis Brackett Jr – Wanted for Revocation of Suspended Sentence and Probation – Violation of Probation – Supervised – Robbery 3 counts, Use of a Firearm in Commission of Felony 3 counts

Why was Dennis chosen as this week’s MMB? Because with all of those charges hanging over his head, he was still able to give us a huge smile for his mug shot. What a trooper!

Dennis is 32 years old, and will celebrate a birthday next month on February 7. He’s 5’8, and 190 pounds. Can’t you just picture him? Just a little on the chubby side, with a wonderful, warm smile.

Why I hate Ty Pennington

2006-01-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and its cast of over-dramatic, beautiful people make me want to hurl.

Intially, I got suckered right on in. I watched the episodes of the family with the deaf child, the star basketball player that was paralyzed, and the Lori Piestawa family/Jessic Lynch two-hour special. And of course, I cried through each of the shows, and couldn't wait for the moment when the entire town screamed "Bus Driver, Move That Bus", and start crying all over again when the family sees the new house for the very first time.

But then I got past all of the weepiness, and I really started watching. I started to really pay attention to the close-ups as Ty explained the hardships of the latest family. I looked more intently at the faces of the crew, and I looked at their practiced, pitiful looks of anguish, and the tear-filled eyes. I watched as they tilted their heads just slightly, and shook their heads with such tenderness. And that's when I vowed to quit watching this crap. Almost as pathetic as the face shots are their moving attempts to gain inspiration for certain rooms. Remember the time Ty and a couple of the others climbed an Arizona mountain to try and gain inspiration for the Native American tribute room for Lori Piestawa. Now that was caring.

Why couldn't Ty just stay on Trading Spaces? The whole point of the show has gone down the toilet. It's no longer about helping people in need. It's about how great Ty and the rest of the Extreme Makeover Home Edition crew are. How caring, how wonderful, how giving. Blech.

A first time for everything

2006-01-13T22:27:00.000-05:00

Today I caught a ride with a coworker to grab a bite to eat. About an eighth of a mile from our office I noticed a huge bird flying overhead. Several different species of water birds make their homes near my office, but this one looked huge and was flying right toward us as we made our way down the road. I remarked at it's size, thinking it was a heron with a large wing span, but it looked nothing like any heron or egret I'd ever seen. My friend blew my excitement off with "it's a hawk", but I couldn't take my eyes off it. It's size mesmerized me. I looked up as it was directly overhead, and saw the tell-tale white head, and large size. The wing span of this bird was easily over six-foot.

People who know me well know that it doesn't take much to entertain and excite me. I was screaming. SCREAMING. My friend nearly ran off the road, and I'm insisting that she stop the car immediately. She didn't, but I continued to watch this indredible creature with amazement.

Before you start shrugging your shoulders, shaking your head or smirking at my excitement, please keep in mind that I have never seen a Bald Eagle in the wild, and also realize that they are not common in Virginia Bech. So uncommon that our local, twice weekly additon to the large newspaper publication actually reports Bald Easgle sightings.

I couldn't wait to get back to the office to share my joy, but before went inside I watched this bird circle around a bit, and as I watched I felt a little sad. During the drive back to my office I noticed that last bit of woods in this area had been cleared to make room for more offices, more warehouses and more homes. We are already over-developed, and I coldn't help but wonder if the joy I felt in seeing this bird was at the expense of this bird's nesting and hunting area.

Do you think we'll ever learn?

Facts of Four

2006-01-13T09:50:00.000-05:00

I was tagged by Cathy for this one. Here it is:

Four jobs you've had in your life
1~T-shirt printer and folder – I ironed on Virginia Beach stickers on shirts and folded them all day. I was in high school. I did it under the influence of red bud. It wasn’t bad.
2~Headshop clerk – I sold bongs and pipes. Seemed like the perfect progression from job 1. And I did piercings.
3~ Bartender – easy money, fun job. With the exception of the weirdos.
4~Business Development – I write proposals, create brochures, etc. Basically, I create a lot of bullshit

Four movies you'd watch over and over
1~BOOGIE NIGHTS
2~Steel Magnolias
3~Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
4~Animal House

Four places you have lived
1~Newport News, VA
2~Blacksburg, VA
3~Virginia Beach, VA
4~Hatteras, NC

Four TV shows you love to watch
1~House Hunters
2~The OC (shut up already)
3~What Not to Wear
4~Designer’s Challenge

Four places you have been on vacation
1~Hilton Head, SC
2~Savannah, GA
3~New York City
4~Las Vegas, NV

Four websites you visit daily
1~A private bulletin board called July 2001 babies
2~REIN network
3~lots of blogs
4~ I’ve been going to Fodor’s a lot lately.

Four of your favorite foods
1~Softshell crabs
2~Spanakopita
3~Macaroni and Cheese – really good stuff made with sharp, aged cheddar
4~Fajitas

Four places you would rather be right now
1~Home
2~On a sailboat, cruising around the Greek Islands
3~In a casino, winning money
4~Sitting in a chair, out in the sun (with my toes touching some warm water)

Four bloggers you are tagging
All of you that leave a response

2006-01-11T22:37:00.000-05:00

Thirteen Things about Dena

1. I went grocery shopping last night. I came home wiht $170 worth of groceries, but nothing that would create a complete meal. But I did buy lots of fresh fruits and veggies, some healthy snacks, organic waffles and whole grain pasta. Adam will be disappointed. He's such a pot roast, country fried steak, loaded nacho kind of guy.

2. During my grocery trip, I saw this guy that looked very familiar in the frozen food aisle. I looked at him, but then Ethan started occupying my thoughts. A few minutes later I felt a tap on my arm, and heard my name. I was right with my initial thought. It was a roller rink crush from the 6th grade, a guy I later dated at 16, and dated again after my frist divorce when I was 26. It was great to see him, and nice to hear how his life has changed. He is now the father of one year old twins (a boy and a girl). His first children, and his first marriage. We hugged, and it felt good to see an old friend.

3. I watched Celebrity Fit Club last night. What the hell?

4. I chose the Thursday 13 over the Things Thursday today. I may still do the Things, but it will be much later.

5. Temps in the 70s are predicted for today. THE 70s. For those of you who do not know, this is January and it's Virginia. Yes, the 70s! It's 54 degrees right now. It's 6:40. (I think I'm starting to feel a little something in my stomach, my throat is scratchy and suddenly, I've got the sniffles. I really don't feel very well.)

6. Adam is still working at night, and to him this equates to doing NOTHING all day. For some reason, he's lost a six-hour window of life. Six hours that he could do things like finish tiling the bathroom or at least put a dirty dish in the dishwaher. It's funny how the number of hours in a day changes when you work nights.

7. My pansies look better this year than in previous winters. I think it's our weather.

8. We have lots of rabbits in our area. Every few years they'll eat my pansies to the ground. They did it last year. I haven't seen them near my pansies this year. Someone told me that this is a proven fact...rabbits selectively eat pansies only every few years. I believe it.

9. We're having 70 degree weather again tomorrow.

10. On Saturday, it's going to be in the low 40s. (I've got to get these sniffles and the coughing perfected by 12 today)

11. Tonight I want to go to Home Depot and buy white paint to do the trim throughout the house. Adam doesn't allow me to paint because he thinks I do a crappy job. But I CAN do the trim. I'l buy a really great brush, and a small can of trim paint, and do it while he's working night again next week. I'm going to sneak and do a little each night while he's working.

12. Did you hear about the dogs and cancer link. I just cuaght a little tidbit on the news, and it seems that dogs have the capability to sense cancer. mmmmmmm.

13. I started this post last night, went to sleep, and then woke up and finished it this morning. How's that for dedication?

14. I don't support Judge Alito.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Ivory Frog
2. Better Safe Than Sorry
3. chatty
4. The Music Whore
5.MommaK
6. Gina in AZ
7. Fireflies & Frogs

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Tuesday's Toast

2006-01-10T20:02:00.000-05:00

Here's to:

Leftover Chinese food for dinner
A very competitive game of Super Monkey Ball with a four-year-old
January weather that gives you Spring fever
A friend treating you to lunch
A very good day at work

Cheers!

Care to join me?

Monday's Morality Buster

2006-01-09T13:49:00.000-05:00

Brian Eric Kalfus

Today’s Monday Morality Buster was selected purely because his photo scared the fuck out of me. I immediately thought of a cross between Charlie Manson, a member of the Aryan Nation, and the psycho that paces in front of the bus stop at the Social Services Building on Virginia Beach Boulevard.

Today’s MMB is 37 years old, 5’11’ and 200 pounds. He is wanted for revocation of a suspended sentence, failure to attend ASAP classes for a DUI conviction.

I’m sure he’s still out there driving, and I bet he’s drunk while he’s doing it.

2006-01-08T19:04:00.000-05:00

Have you ever seen the show Next on MTV? I know, I know...what the hell am I doing watching shows like this? Well, I started watching it months ago, and it sucked me in. Sucked me in HARD. Now it's just pissed me off. I just feel that this show purposely exploits young gay men. I am appalled at the language and the approach. Stereotypical, clichéd, and demeaning. Total emphasis on sexual stuff rather than finding a companion/nice guy, which in my opinion is just pure exploitaiton.The versions with the straight guys and girls weren't much better...but a little more appropriate. Not quite as obvious, and much more toned down.

What bothers me is that this show comes on during the day on Saturday and Sunday, and is almost a platform for younger teenaged boys to practice their gay bashing skills. I can just picture a group of thirteen year old boys watching this, laughing and joking together and making horrible gay jokes.

The show is very staged, and some of the comments that the young men make promote sex with multiple partners. This show could be tasteful, but instead it's giving out a horrible message to both gay and straight young people. I would like to think that MTV would take a closer look, and try and regain some of its oringal hipness.

Hey, maybe it's just me, but I am curious if anyone else had any thoughts on the show.

Friday's Feast

2006-01-06T19:18:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Have you ever seen a ghost or an angel?
No, I haven't. Not in the true, in-your-face sense.

Soup
What is your favorite board game?
Monopoly has always been my favorites, but I love playing games. If only I could find someone who would play along with me.

Salad
What was the last movie you saw that made you cry?
The Family Stone

Main Course
What would you do if you had 3 months off from your job?
I would beg that I could wait for the weather to warm up before I got my three months off. I'd go to the pool, take Ethan swimming in the bay, go to the Ocean, take walks, get up early and do things outside. I'd do a whole lot of playing. And I'd let Ethan take the three months off from school.

Dessert
What kind of shoes are you wearing today?
Brown boots with a tall, square heel.

2006-01-05T11:16:00.000-05:00

Thirteen Things about Dena

1. I’m going to make our Vegas reservations this week. Originally it was three nights/four days, then four nights/three days and now we’re looking at five nights with a possible side trip to the Grand Canyon.
2. Last night I did the Pop Tart for dinner again. I’m thinking this could be a new fab diet for me.
3. The other day I was driving down Great Neck Road - aka as the jogging trail for the “look at me, look at me” people of Virginia Beach. This guy that was jogging leaned his head toward the street, placed his finger to his nostril and blew a snot rocket into the street. I was so impressed.
4. Today five U.S. soldiers on patrol in Baghdad area killed by roadside bomb, according to U.S. military news release. It’s time to bring them all home.
5. I want to get some new black boots. I want to get them for a really good price. Since Adam’s working tonight, I might take Ethan to Nordstrom. I’m sure he’ll love a Nordstrom trip.
6. I have been working on this Thursday 13 since 8:15 this morning. I have been constantly interrupted by work issues. What the hell is up with that?
7. Work is going to keep me very occupied for the next several weeks. I’m going to take full advantage of today, and goof off.
8. Whenever I have to pee at work there is ALWAYS someone in the bathroom. I’m one of those people that will hold it until it’s almost dripping down my leg. I need to plan my pee breaks better.
9. I hate stupid men at work who stand outside the women’s bathroom and have a conversation. I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK AT YOU IMMEDIATELY AFTER I PEE ! ! !
10. My hair looks like dog shit.
11. I finally got into the women’s bathroom, and it the stench the person before me left gave me the dry heaves.
12. I am tempted to ask the two idiots still standing at the door who came out.
13. I can’t wait for my lunch break. I want soup.
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Wednesday Whispers

2006-01-04T10:28:00.000-05:00

Something new for Wednesdays. Sharing a little something secret. Care to join me?

Against some initially well-received advice, I took the plunge last night and for dinner ate a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart with butter. It was good. I’m having one for dinner again tonight.

I’m not wearing underwear today. Not because I’m trying to be Paris Hilton sexy, but because I was too lazy to go upstairs and grab a pair. My husband is working nights this week, and I’d already banged enough drawers, opened and closed enough closets, and turned on enough lights.

I was purposely rude and sarcastic to someone on a private baby board I belong too. I got called on it by someone I know is just as sarcastic as I am, and secretly wanted to make the same comments. I feigned innocence, and tried to play it off. I’m still proud of my remarks, however.

Sometimes I actually like when my husband works nights. It means I really don’t have to cook. Not that I cook that often now, but Ethan’s happy with a frozen waffle, and I get that Pop Tart.

This morning when I was in and out of the bedroom gathering clothes, I heard Huey Lewis and the News’ Power of Love playing. That means my husband tuned the radio to a Top 40 Adult Oldies station. I laughed my ass off. When I talk to him later today, I’m going to start dropping hints about how I think Huey Lewis is so cool. He’ll get pissed and make the “what the hell is wrong with you” face.

A conversation with Ethan

2006-01-02T10:02:00.000-05:00

Last night we had dinner with my parents. Ethan doesn't like pork tenderloin, pasticio, blackeye peas or Greek salad. On the way we made a quick stop at the McDonald's drive-thru. Since we wanted him to eat we ordered one of those fabulous chicken nugget kids' meals.

I decided to give him the toy ahead of time, and save the food for when we all sat down to eat at my Mom's.

Me: You want the toy now?
Ethan: Yes, yes! Which one is it?
Me: It's the Narnia lion. (pass the toy, still in the plastic wrapping to E)
Ethan: Oh boy! I've got an erection!
Adam and I immediately turn and stare at each other, disbelief on our faces.
Me: What?
Ethan: I've got an erection with my toy.
Adam: That's my boy!
Me; He means directions! The toy came with directions!

Adam and I shamelessly giggle with each other the remainder of the drive.

2006-01-01T14:04:00.000-05:00

Nothing beats welcoming in the New Year with friends, smiles and laughs. We had fun. Not over-the-top fun, but good times, with people I haven't really spent any time with since before Ethan was born. It's always good to reconnect with old friends.

Is it just me?

2005-12-31T19:15:00.000-05:00

Please explain to me why on New Year's Eve, of all days, do:
the television stations show movies that make you cry
the news shows share stories that make you cry
the radio stations play songs that make you cry

It's 2005. It will be 2006 tomorrow, and ET just did a story on Rock Hudson who has been dead since 1985. They followed this up with a story about the death of Vic Morrow who died in 1982 when filming The Twilight Zone. Certainly no reason to end it there, and so they continue with a story about the life and death of JFK Jr.

Today should be a day for cheer, fun, positive thoughts. It's the end of one year, and the beginning of new year. It's hard enough for me to watch these shows, and I've had a pretty good damn year. Imagine if you are alone, and this has been a truly shitty year. Is this what you need to see right now? Really, now. Who comes up with this shit?

The year in review...a meme.

2005-12-31T15:30:00.000-05:00

Glad to see 2005 go?
Not really. For the post part, it was a very good year.

Age turned in 2005?
46. How the hell did that happen?

Did you change your hair in 2005?
No, but I might in 2006

The best part of 2005?
The summer - days and nights at the beach, days at the pool, a trip to Vegas

The worst part of 2005?
That freakin' lump in my neck

Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yes! Many of them through blogging.

Any new crushes in 2005?
No, I still have my crush on John Cusack

Do they know?
NO, but if he did I'm sure he'd fall for me.

Who will you never forget?
George Bush, and what a fiasco of a year this has been politically

Who did you wish you did not meet?
A couple of people at work that pluck my nerves.

Did you have a boy/girlfriend in 2005?
Ummm, no. I'm married and very happily.

Did you fall in love in 2005?
Of course. I fall in love with something/someone almost everyday. NOt lust-love, just love.

Did you catch someone in a lie in 2005?
Most definitely.

Did you call them out?
Some I did, some I just chalked up to insecurity with themselves.

Did you get caught in a lie?
No

Funniest moment of 2005?
Ethan's gum conversation outside his school.

Most embarrassing moment of 2005?
Again, the gum conversation.

The funniest thing you you saw on TV in 2005?
"My Name Is Earl" and some SNL stuff

The funniest thing you heard on the radio?
I listen to music most mornings. Music and Ethan.

Did you take any vacations in 2005?
Vegas

Any new hobbies of 2005?
Blogging

Did you get a new job in 2005?
No

Did you lose a job in 2005?
No

Did you host a party in 2005?
Yes. Birthday parties.

Did you get in any car accidents in 2005?
No.

Did you get a ticket in 2005?
No.

Were you ever arrested in 2005?
No.

Where did most of your money go?
The kids. I'm paying college tuition...

What song will always remind you of 2005?
Photograph by Nickelback. The radio plays it all the time and I HATE it. HATE the song, HATE the band, HATE the lead singer.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
More home improvements

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Blowing money eating out

Thing you wish you were better at in 2005?
I wish I didn't procrastinate so much

In 2005, did you lie to miss a day of work / school?
No

Did you move in 2005?
No

Did you wish on a shooting star in 2005?
Nope. Didn't see any.

Has your wish come true?
Not applicable.

Did you make-out in public in 2005?
We did in Vegas one night, but it was 3:00 am in the morning, we were drunk, and we didn't know anyone

What's the ringer on your cellphone?
REM's End of the World

Did you drink too much in 2005?
No.

Your favorite commercial of 2005?
I get up during the commercials

Something you couldn't leave home without in 2005?
Wallet, camera, cell phone

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005?
Take advantage of every moment

Did you do anything in 2005 you had never done before?
I went to Vegas, started blogging

Did you plan to do something in 2005, but never got around to it?
Oh, please.

Flashback

2005-12-30T12:35:00.000-05:00

Really simple things make me really happy. During my lunch ride, the Flashback Lunch was playing on the radio. Three of my favorite oldies were played. If I were going to call and make a request, these three songs would probably have been on my list.

Anarchy in the UK

Girl U Want

Private Idaho

So, what's on your Flashback Lunch?

Elf Dropping anyone?

2005-12-28T21:55:00.000-05:00

Whenever I mention Elf Dropping to a friend, I always get a puzzled look, quickly followed by a request for an full explanation. This Christmas Eve was particularly fun because I was able to introuduce several people to what has become a family tradition for our household. To clear up what many people believe, Elf Dropping does not involve leaving elf poop on the doorstepas proof that an elf was around, nor does it involve dropping an elf from the rooftop.

Here's how it works. As the evening begins, the elves begin their duty of sneakily dropping off gifts at your door. It's done on a "knock and run" basis, and the gifts can be tricks or treats. When you hear a knock, run to the door and there will be a gift (sometimes wrapped, sometimes not) waiting for you.

Ethan's night of Elf Dropping began quite alarmingly; at least for him. He had been a pistol all day, and I don't mean busy and excited, I mean obnoxious and rude. Adam told him that he needed to improve on his behavior or the elves might not be nice this year. Ethan's curiousity began to spark, and he asked if the elves might bring him dirt. BINGO! Now we were certain what the elves would bring first. We heard a knock, Ethan ran to the door, walked out on the poarch and found a wrapped gift. He came inside, and opened it front of all of us.

Initially, he was quite thrilled with the dirt, but soon the smiles turned to tears when he realized that he was out a gift.

Later in the evening he received a pair of Darth Vader Pajamas, and then a book to read before bedtime. When Kaiden arrived, we decided to initiate her into the Elf Dropping tradition. Misty had a Kidz Bop CD for Kaiden in the car, and so that was left at the door for Kaiden, while Ethan got a box of Twinkies. Yes, I said Twinkies. After all, what kid wouldn't want a box of Twinkies on Christmas Eve?

This morning Ethan asked me why Kaiden got his CD. I told him it wasn't his. And then he explained that it was delivered to his house, it wasn't wrapped and it didn't have a tag on it so it must be his. It does make sense. I really don't think he's going to buy into the whole Santa thing for very long. He's already questioning the idea, but hopefully I can pull it off. I think I'm that creative (aka sneaky), and I'd reallyy hate for my fun to end this soon.

Hopefully, you get the idea of Elf Dropping and will make it a new tradtion in your home next year.

One from Christmas Eve

2005-12-28T09:17:00.000-05:00

I hosted a little Christmas Eve thing for my big kids and some of their friends this year. I always do Christmas Eve munchies, and hope that people stop by to say hi.

Stephen was "the hit" of Christmas Eve this year. At least for Ethan and Kaiden. The three of them were adorable together.

The other big hit of Christmas Eve was our "Elf Dropping" tradition. I'll have to share a little more on that later.

Back from hiatus

2005-12-27T21:32:00.000-05:00

I'm back. I have a lot of catching up to do. Expect a visit from me in the next few days while I play the catch up game.

Add me to the list

2005-12-24T09:25:00.000-05:00

Gotta take a break for just a couple of days. Too much to do, too many people to see, too many hairs to pull out.

Have a Very Merry Christmas !

anonymous

2005-12-22T10:51:00.000-05:00

anonymous
adj 1: having no known name or identity or known source; "anonymous authors"; "anonymous donors"; "an anonymous gift" [syn: anon.] [ant: onymous] 2: not known or lacking marked individuality; "brown anonymous houses"; "anonymous bureaucrats in the Civil Service"

I received and email from my anonymous commenter last night. She basically threatened me of harassing her by allowing someone to post all of her IP information on MY website. She stated that she new her rights and that she had contacted her local authorities. I thought this email was extremely comical. I have chosen not to post the email, because obviously the posting of all her information was traumatic enough already, all though, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO POST IT, IF I CHOOSE TO DO SO!

You are only SO anonymous on the internet. She came to MY website and chose to comment. When she did so, she left a trail of information. ALL 100% PUBLIC INFORMATION. None of her information was obtained illegally; it was all out there on public sites, to be gathered by whoever. If you do not want people to know your identity on the internet – STAY OFF THE INTERNET.

As far as claims of harassment, I give you the following statements directly from her comments (and I apologize for her grammar - or lack thereof):

“Crackers will be crackers though. We black folks know this, now if I sent a herd of nigga bloggers your way to let virtual fire up your arse you'd be crying 'can't we all just get along'.”

“Now little miss soapbox remember tricks are for kids, and botox is for crackers who don't age gracefully. So move on before you get your feelings hurt. I think I will do this blog some justice by sending the comments out it will at least give you some hits. So think of me as the Nigga Santa.”

“Fret not your just a blip on the radar but know you're on my cracker blogger list from now on.”

“Now you lighten-up oops wait you're a cracker so you can't. Don't worry there is much more haterade for you to drink, remember gulp trick gulp lol.”

She was EXTREMELY tough when she THOUGHT she was anonymous. She was also extremely tough in her email when she tried to threaten me, like I do not KNOW the law and my rights. You come to my site; you make comments and harass me? I have the right to call you out! You don’t like it? Don’t stop by!

So here is your disclaimer – if you leave hateful comments on my website behind and anonymous mask, I will allow your comments to stay. This is a public site and I have allowed anonymous comments. BUT, I reserve the right to post any and ALL public information about you that I feel like posting and trust me there is plenty and it is SO easy to find! You have been warned.

Happy Holidays!

Who likes anonymous commenters?

2005-12-21T15:34:00.000-05:00

I do! I do!

And to ensure that my anonymous commenter gets the attention she seeks, please read about Monday's Morality Buster once again.

Gosh! I have arrived. Without even trying.

What the hell?

2005-12-21T12:48:00.000-05:00

Taco Bell is now putting messages on their Taco Sauce Packets.
Things like:

Hello
Bike tires scare me.
My Sauce is an Honor Student at Taco Middle School.
Not to be used as a flotation device.

And the great message above that my husband got on his sauce today.
Looks like he's going to be busy this afternoon.

Isn't this the cutest?

2005-12-20T15:20:00.000-05:00

I took an old snapshot of my brother and my Dad, cropped and enlarged it, and am framing a copy for each of them this Christmas.

Is this cute or what? I know they'll both love it. And I know my Mom will cry when she sees it.

Seasons Greetings from Maxwell

2005-12-20T09:14:00.000-05:00

My friend sent this photo as her Christmas greeting this year. Maxwell is the most spoiled, horrid dog you'd ever want to come into contact with. He'll attach himself to any ankle that comes near him. He's vicious, and has a vicious attitude to match.

Monday Morality Buster

2005-12-19T11:06:00.000-05:00

The Criminal du jour this week is Keenleon Keon Oats. Actually the award should go straight to his mother for such a clever use of the language when she came up with that name. Wouldn’t it be lovely if K went by the entire first/middle name? Picture it. “Keenleon Keon, whaz up nigga?” Please don’t get alarmed by the use of the word nigga. I’m sure K’s friends call him that. Shit, his Mom probably called him that when he called her from jail to bail him out. And now she’s still calling him that because the guy skipped out. I'm not being racist.

Keenleon is wanted for Revocation of a suspended sentence and probation. He’s 22, 5’10”, and 165 pounds. I’m guessing his Mom is real pissed off at him right now.

The Weekend in Pictures

2005-12-18T22:43:00.000-05:00

Our once-a-year, traditonal Christmas photo (Misty, I bet you can't guess who he was calling)

Our favorite bartender, Janet.

Assorted friends at the Fat Tuesday's Christmas party.

Ethan had his first bowling experience today:

2005-12-17T08:29:00.000-05:00

It warms my heart when I find the two of them cuddling like this. It's too bad Ethan can sense a camera the second you pull it out.

Mistletoe Hunting - Virginia Beach Style

2005-12-16T21:15:00.000-05:00

It wasn't too hard for me to find mistletoe this year, and not only was it easy to spot, but easy to get to as well.

I spotted it in our office yard as I was driving to lunch the other day.

I found three trees, all small, and all with a pretty good bunch of mistletoe.

I enlisted the aid of a co-worker, and in just a few short minutes we both had a nice bunch to take home.

The quest for a new level of hot

2005-12-16T13:53:00.000-05:00

To me, there is nothing more motivational when trying to lose weight, than a diet buddy. Since Misty has been on this get healthy, eat right kick, it’s become fairly easy for me to stick to the plan. We have been lunch partners for quite awhile now, and sometimes we don’t eat as healthy as we should. We now have a newfound determination. Of course, that means we’ve now had to cut out eating at what has just recently become our favorite spot, The Table Talk Café, but it doesn’t mean we can’t eat in the same strip center.

This week we have eaten every single lunch at the Warrior Grill, a Mongolian style barbeque establishment. It’s healthy. And they don’t serve fries. Sure, it’s quirky. The grill guys are adamant about creating your sauce. Guess what Wang Chung? I don’t like OYSTER SAUCE. I have told you fifty fucking times to keep your paws away from my bowl when I’m scooping my sauce. I want one scoop of ginger water, two scoops of the garlic, one scoop of lemon water, one scoop of wine, three scoops of hot pepper sauce (two with juice drained and one with the juice in the scoop), two scoops of Oriental sauce (whatever that is), and two scoops of sesame oil. And then there’s the wait staff. The Chinese ladies hover. If your glass is ¾ full, then they want to fill it. If you are down to one last bite on your plate, they circle your table like vultures waiting to take your plate the second that last bite is in your mouth, and before you set your fork down. As soon as they feel safe, they immediately swoop down and snatch the plate. It annoys the hell out of me. BUT…I live with the quirkiness. It’s healthy, it’s good, and we’ve seen results.

You want to know what’s really amazing? Look what’s right next to the Warrior Grill. Uh huh, you got it. And we haven’t even gone in once. Not even for one of those teeny tiny free samples.

The battle between woman and sweater

2005-12-15T19:56:00.000-05:00

Today I wore this to work:

It is made of 30% wool. It itched the hell out of my neck.

All day long I did this:

And this:

I tugged. I pulled. I stretched. I pulled it up and over my nose to keep it off my neck.

And now that I am home? I am still wearing it, and I am still tugging at it. What the hell is wrong with me?

Thursday Thirteen

2005-12-15T10:35:00.001-05:00

1. I didn’t get Adam to go to Kitty Hawk for our Christmas Chain of Love Activity, but he did agree to go out for Christmas Pizza, and looking at the Wolfsnare Plantation lights.
2. The waitress at the pizza place didn’t understand why I wanted our pepperonis cut into the shape of a Christmas tree. I used my compromising skills and called them red Christmas balls.
3. I am still expecting three packages in the mail. I hope they get here in time for Christmas.
4. Adam’s work party is tomorrow night. They’re being cheap like my office and only inviting the work people. No spouses. I guess Ethan and I will do something really wild on our own tomorrow night. I’ll take him out for hot chocolate, and maybe we’ll do some manger stalking. Misty? You up for it?
5. I found some mistletoe at work. Now I just need my 7 foot tall co-worker to walk outside and pick it for me.
6. I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night to watch QVC. I have no idea why I find QVC more entertaining than most of the big network programming. I think it’s the people that call in and talk to the host who has been describing a gold chain for the last 30 minutes.
7. I’ve never bought anything on QVC, but I’ve been so fucking tempted lately. At 4:30 this morning I had this incredible urge to order Adam the Black and Decker stud finder. I satisfied my urge with a chocolate chip cookie instead.
8. Sometimes I look at my daughter, and the only thing I can think of to say is “what the hell?” Seriously.
9. Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip pound cake is orgasmic. Really, it is.
10. I want to make an entire Christmas CD with nothing but Little Drummer Boy versions on it. If you have a version, e-mail it to me. I’ll love you for life.
11. I work for a General Contractor. Every subcontractor in the Hampton Roads brings us food during this season. It’s dangerous. Good, but dangerous.
12. Adam and I have a fun Christmas party to go to on Saturday. I’m wearing black pants and a red cashmere sweater.
13. I just found out that a friend of mine (a friend that cuts hair) is working at one of the best salons in Virginia Beach. She will come to my house and do my hair for free. I need a trim and a highlight. I should call her today.

2005-12-14T20:16:00.000-05:00

Head on over to Soapbox's, and find the directions and info on this little picture share. She'll be hosting this little Thursday thing each week. And yes, I do realize that it's still Wednesday, but I like to do things a little differently. Please stop by Misty's and join in this Thursday game.

This Weeks Things:

01. Favorite Knick Knack or Art Piece in your house.

This is my favorite painting in my house. My aunt is an art consultant/dealer in New York City. She gave me this one as a gift. It was part of her collection, and one of many pieces that she has loaned to museums. I love anything that's modern 50s and 60s, and this was painted during that period.

I'm not a huge knick knack person, but this is my favorite piece. This little enameled box belonged to my Grandmother. She got in in the late 1930s, and it was an antique even then. I just love it. It's a very deep blue inside, and very heavy. It could do some serious injury if I ever felt the need to hurl it at someone.

02. Where you blog from.

This is the home blog spot.

03. Your Christmas Tree or other Politically Correct Holiday Symbol.

The tree. Next year I'm doing colored lights. Big fat 1960's painted bulb colored lights.

The Christmas Chain of Love

2005-12-14T09:19:00.000-05:00

I love tradition; holiday tradition. This is an odd little characteristic for someone who is rather non-traditional in most other areas.

Several people I know do a Christmas Chain for their kids. Each link has a different activity on it: baking cookies, wrapping presents, visiting Santa. You get the picture. I figured I’d jump on the bandwagon, and do my own Christmas Chain. But being the non-conformist that I am, I decided to take the tradition down a different path. I actually decided to name my chain. The Christmas Chain of Love. I knew Adam would just love the idea of “The Christmas Chain of Love”, and I knew that the minute I mentioned it to him, I’d get the rolled eyes, and his typical “what is wrong with you?” comment. He didn’t fail me with his reaction. As I explained “The Christmas Chain of Love” to him, and started describing the activities, he stopped me mid-sentence, and asked “Why do we have to call it the The Christmas Chain of Love? Why can’t we just call it getting in the car and looking at Christmas lights?”

C’mon Adam, do you have to spoil every single one of my little annoyances? The thing is, is that he knows I thrive on this kind of thing. He knows that I turn love to turn a simple little pleasure into an elaborate plan, with names and ideas that I have no true intention of following. It’s how I was when I met him. It’s how he expects me to behave.

In a few minutes I’m going to call him and report today’s Christmas Chain of Love activity. We’re going to get in the car and drive the almost two hours to Kitty Hawk, North Carolina

and look at some Christmas Lights. The home I want to see is one of three chosen for the Today’s Show Best Light Display Contest. We’re going, and he’s going to love the hell of it.

Of course, we won’t end up going, but the real joy of creating the events that are part of The Christmas Chain of Love is seeing the expression on Adam’s face or hearing the “what the fuck is she thinking of now?” tone in his voice when I approach him with a new idea.

It doesn’t really matter whether or not he goes along with any or all of my Christmas Chain of Love activities. What matters is that I’ve created yet another tradition for the holiday season. Hell, I’ll even enlist friends and neighbors to participate in my Christmas Chain of Love. I’ve already told Misty that if Adam poo-poos my idea for tonight, then she’ll have to make the trek to North Carolina with me.

Remember the band Erasure from the 80s. Well, now I can’t get that song out of my head. From now on, I’m going to sing it to Adam each time I mention The Christmas Chain of Love. He’ll love it.

Come to me, cover me, hold me
Together we’ll break these chains of love
Don’t give up, don’t give up
Together with me and my baby
Break the chains of love

Adam's B'day Present - 1999

2005-12-13T19:54:00.000-05:00

In 1999, I decided to get Adam a puppy for his birthday. We already had one dog, a rescued pup named Cujo. Cujo was three years old, and seemed like she needed someone to keep her company when we were at work. We decided on a Border Collie - they like to play Frisbee, we liked the look and size of the breed, and they're smarter than many people I've met.

We started asking around, and soon we located a farm that had a litter of pups ready for new homes. I really wanted a female puppy, but it was Adam's gift and he wanted a male. We picked out a little tri-color. Dog trainers recommend giving your dog one syllable names for command purposes, and I came up with Ike. The name suited him well.

I've always taken my dogs to obedience classes, not only for the basic training offered, but for the socialization, as well. Adam didn't want to do the school thing, and I happily took over. Of course, he didn't realize that this would soon mean that I would be Ike's "main person." It's just the way it is in the dog world. Ike excelled in his class; no surprise there. He learned all the hand signals, obstacle training, and jumping. And we bonded.

Ike is no longer Adam's dog. He hasn't been for quite awhile. Even Adam will tell you that the dog is in love with me. Although he likes all of us, he worships me. I'v caught him staring at me with the googoo eyes of an adolescent boy. I've also seen this dog roll and cut his eyes at Adam when he walks by him, much like a teenager would do when his father tells him to do something that he disagrees with. I really try to get the two of them to form a real bond, but it's just not happening. Even with dogs, you can't force a real friendship.

I couldn't resist

2005-12-12T22:10:00.000-05:00

We were out doing our daily Christmas activity, and I made Adam pull over so I could get a pic of Ethan in the manger. Adam spends half his life shaking his head in disbelief, or asking me "what is wrong with you", but he always caves in and does what I ask. Gotta love a good sport, no matter how much of a fight he puts up.

Ethan was a little freaked at first because one of the Wise Men was leaning against the manger wall, and appeared to have been drinking. Once I explained that the guy was resting, he moved on in for the photo op.

Monday's Morality Buster

2005-12-12T11:29:00.000-05:00

The City of Virginia Beach hosts a site that gives visuals, and a brief history of its most wanted criminals. Each Monday I will showcase a different person who I feel is worthy of making an appearance on my blog. It may be for the crime they committed, it may be that I found their photo to be particularly interesting, or it may be because I knew them back in the day.

This week the award goes to:

Edward John Garabedian
Edward is wanted for failure to appear on a misdemeanor charge. He looks really bummed, and I felt particularly sad for him since this is, after all, the holiday season. Edward is 35 years old, 5'7", and 150 pounds. He has brown hair and brown eyes. I think Edward needs a good meal, and perhaps a makeover. With a new look, he may decide to go ahead and make an appearance at the magistrate’s office.

Another bittersweet moment

2005-12-12T07:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, yes, the excitement of a grown-up bed.

And he was out.

I shed a couple of tears because this milestone is truly one of the markers that he's no longer a baby. He's out of the futon. The bed that was so low to the ground, that if he did roll off we knew he's survive.

Of course, this one will always be my baby. It's different when you have children so widely spaced. You don't want to rush the first steps, you don't wonder what they'll be like as teens. I know how quickly that time passes, and I've clung to each little piece of Ethan's baby and toddler years. Those wonderful moments are so brief, and those rought stages just as brief in the grand scheme.

He knows he'll always be my baby, and he tells me "I'm Daddy's big boy, but I'm your baby, Mommy."

The Indigo Children

2005-12-11T07:59:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was told that Ethan is a classic example of an Indigo Child. This is not the first, second, or third time someone has made a similar statement to me, and so I decided the term worth a google search.

I found a list of questions to ask yourself about your child:

Did your child come into the world acting like royalty?

Does your child have a feeling of deserving to be here?

Does your child have an obvious sense of self?

Does your child have difficulty with discipline and authority?

Does your child refuse to do certain things they are told to do?

Is waiting in lines torture for your child?

Is your child frustrated by ritual-oriented systems that require little creativity?

Does your child see better ways of doing thing at home and at school?

Is your child a nonconformist?

Does your child refuse to respond to guilt trips?

Does your child get bored rather easily with assigned tasks?

Does your child display symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder?

Is your child particularly creative?

Does your child display intuition?

Does your child have strong empathy for others?

Did your child develop abstract thinking very early?

Is your child very intelligent?

Is your child very talented (may be identified as gifted)?

Does your child seem be a daydreamer?

Does your child have very old, deep, wise looking eyes?

Does your child have spiritual intelligence?

I counted the number of questions I responded to with a yes (10 or more with a yes, and you've got an Idingo), and decided to call my Mom, the school teacher. My Mom taught for over 30 years. She taught all elementary grade levels, middle school children special ed (children with severe emotial disabilities) and very young children with multiple learning disabilities. She knows children. I decided to read her the list and she started laughing, and answered, "Well, that's all children."

I decided to do even more reading and found this little blanket statement:

Many of today's children are Indigo Children, also known as Children of the Sun by the Native Americans and as Millennium Children by some authors. Some experts say up to 90% of all children under age 9, and some think even a small percentage of adults are Indigos. These children are identified by their unique set of characteristics. They are very intelligent and creative, but also rebellious to authority and systems in general. They are often mislabeled with ADD and may need alternative therapies to handle this behavior. They are often physically sensitive and extremely emotionally sensitive. Often they are very empathic and caring, though some become callous after years of emotional abuse. Indigos may have extreme rage that needs a safe acceptable outlet and counseling. Indigos may experience existential depression at young ages if they do not remember why they are here or have any feeling that they can help to improve the world.

So, what's your opinion of Indigo Children. Mumbo jumbo or a new generation of humans? I also read that if you can see auras, then your indigo child will be surround in that beautiful shade of blue.

Quote of the day

2005-12-10T07:43:00.000-05:00

"Youth is, after all, just a moment, but it is the moment, the spark that you always carry in your heart."

---Raisa Gobachev - former Russian first lady.

Friday's Feast

2005-12-09T14:37:00.000-05:00

Get the meme here: Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name something you'll miss about 2005.
I’ll miss having a three year old. Ethan turned four in July.

Salad
What is one thought that went through your mind today?
What can I do to cheer up a friend that needs some big time cheering?

Soup
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how compassionate would you say you are?
9.5. I’m pretty darned compassionate. I don’t want to come off as an over-compassionate push-over, and so I’m taking off .5 for good measure.

Main Course
If you could invent something, what would it be?
Green vehicles at an affordable price

Dessert
Do you prefer salty snacks or sweet treats?
I really like the combo effect. Pretzels dipped in chocolate, ice cream with salty nuts, popcorn and M&M mixture

Thursday Thirteen

2005-12-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

1. I wrapped eleven presents tonight. I've always done all my wrapping on Christmas Eve. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.

2. I have a very good friend that is hurting right now. I wish there were more I could do.

3. Someone needs to explain the code for this Thursday Thirteen to me. I'm sure I could figure it out, but I don't want to use that much brain power right now.

4. Ethan's new bedroom furniture is being delivered on Saturday. We did not get the loft furniture. Adam was petrified at the thought of the lethal combination of Ethan, a ladder and an elevated mattress.

5. The "King of Coloring" spent over an hour coloring one picture. He's very creative with his color selections. It makes me smile.

6. Thinking about John Lennon today, and I'm sure joining thousands of other blogs who mentioned his genius.

7. I love that I did so much of my shopping online this season. It's so much fun getting all these packages delivered at work. I like the surprise factor involved in this style of shopping. So far I'm thrilled with my purchases.

8. A couple of fun shopping sites: 80stees.com and threadless. Lots of fun t-shirts if you've got teenage/college kids to buy for.

9. My mother-in-law is coming over to celebrate Christmas on Sunday. She bought a house in Pennsylvania, and is closing on it at the end of the month. She's squeezing us in since she's leaving for PA on Tuesday, and won't be back in this area for three months. Once again I wonder what it's like to be in my husband's shoes. His family is so not normal. In fact, they are bizarre. Bizarre, I tell you. I'm sure Adam's father (and the third wife) will send some useless piece of shit to Ethan for Christmas. One year he sent him a $25 gift certificate to Sam's Club. What the heck?

10. It's 10:14. Ethan just reminded me that we forgot to open #8 on the Advent calendar.

11. Ethan warms my heart when he kisses me for no reason. Especially when he kisses my elbow, my knee or my ankle. It's so darn cute, and I just want to squeeze him.

12. I bought this stupid wrapping paper cutter at Target last weekend. I used it to cut the paper for three presents and then it quit working. After I did the first present, I was raving to Adam about it. Two presents later and I was complaining that it was the most worthless piece of crap ever. I wasn't lying.

13. Ethan sleeps with a menagerie each night. In his bed tonight: a sea turtle, three teddy bears, Batman, Spiderman, Darth Vader, a chick, Kermit, Elmo, and a black Lab. There's other stuff, but it's all piled on top of one another, and I can't make out the species.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

2005-12-07T22:04:00.000-05:00

We usually make several trips to Santa each season. You have to make bunches of visits to make sure Santa doesn't forget who you are, or what you want. This picture was the result of our first visit.

Don't you just hate...

2005-12-07T08:54:00.000-05:00

It was strictly work related. Dumb. Done. Over. Resolved. Whew!

when you make a totally huge, huge fuck up?

Cheers

2005-12-05T08:31:00.000-05:00

Chuck E Cheese and Santa Claus

2005-12-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

Is there anyone else who would prefer to have a hot fireplace poker shoved up their vagina, rather than attend a weekend birthday party at the Chuck E Cheese? Seriously? I can't think of anything that spells White Trash better than 700 raging kids with no supervision running from game to game, and ride to ride, while their parents guzzle draft beer from plastic cups. It's bad enough that I was one of a handful of parents actually watching their children in this lawsuit waiting to happen, but add germs as an ingredient and the overall appeal continues to diminish. I found the entire experience offensive. Sure, Ethan thought it was the best thing ever, but I was ready for a straight jacket by the time we left.

Attending a parade with a bunch of bundled up kids in strollers, while bands play Christmas music, and Santa waves to the crowd is a much more enjoyable way to spend an evening.

Oh, that and closing down the Chick-Fil-A. Yes, that's how we roll in Virginia Beach. We spend three hours shooting the shit in an empty Chick-Fil-A, while our kids rule the play zone. It's much safer to lick a soft serve ice cream while watching your kids through a glass window, than it is is to constantly yell their names while running under a suspended tube, wondering if the screams of pain are coming from your child as (s)he is being crushed by a roving gang of eight years olds. Not to mention, 10 out of 15 parents agree, Chick-Fil-A is much cleaner than any of the other fast food play areas.

Just give me my $0.29 Bic

2005-12-03T10:01:00.000-05:00

I'll take my ink in a different form, thank you very much. Several thousand spent, and several thousand more to go. Yes, this is what my adoring husband considers important. I'm not a tattoo person, but whatever. At least it gives me mucho leverage in a variety of financial situations.

Misty - You knew I'd be able to get these photos. What the hell were you thinking when you turned it into a monetary challenge?

Talking to the fat guy

2005-12-02T21:42:00.000-05:00

Ethan got a personal phone call from the famous fat guy himself last night. Yep, that's right! A one-on-one conversation with St. Nick, compliments of our friend, Nadine. It was priceless. Notice the toe action in the pictures below.